d with gold?

Where shall I find the employer of labour who, I have been told, will
instantly get me occupation at a wage of 60 roubles the week?

Dear me! in this, then, your "White Chapel"? I was told it was a
luxurious quarter, famous for its Palaces.

Surely this horrid den is not one of your model work-rooms? I was told
that such things existed only in Russia!

And are these people who are scowling at and cursing me your typical
working population? Why, I was told that I should find them dear
brothers, waiting to welcome us with open arms.

And is this pittance you offer me all that you pay for making a coat?
I was told that it was quite twelve times as much as this.

Ah! I'm afraid I have been told, and have given credit to, a great
many things to which I never should have listened at all.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FELINE AMENITIES.

_Lady Godiva de Rougepott_. "I DON'T THINK ANY PAINTING LOOKS WELL IN
THIS HORRID ELECTRIC LIGHT!"

_Hostess_ (_nettled_). "DON'T YOU, DEAR? PERHAPS YOU WOULD PREFER TO
REMAIN IN THE DRAWING-ROOM, WHERE THE LAMPS AND SHADES ARE!"]

* * * * *

THE FRUIT OF THE SESSION.

"To the bi-monthly exhibition of the Royal Horticultural
Society the Marquis of SALISBURY sent a magnificent
collection--of strawberries especially. Mr. W.H. SMITH showed
specimens of the same luscious fruit, for which he received
the thanks of the Society."--_Daily Telegraph_.

_Head-Gardener_ SM-TH _soliloquiseth_:--

OHO! my beauty! If _you_ don't get a fust prize, and "receive the
thanks of the Society" I'm a cowcumber! "The Fruits of Early Industry
and Economy." Title of a picture by that splendid sample of the
industrious and the economical, GEORGE MORLAND, I believe. Yes, that's
it. My Industry and G-SCH-N's Economy.

We are a moral family;
We are, we are, we are!

All the cardinal virtues bound in--ahem! no matter.

Talk of the Gigantic Gooseberry! What is that apocryphal monstrosity
compared with this Brobdingnagian Berry? [_Sings._

Bravo, my "British Queen"!
Long live my "British Queen"!
Brave "British Queen"!
Send it victorious,
First-Prizer glorious,
Fill Rads censorious
With envious spleen!

As you _will_, my Beauty! When did swaggering H-RC-RT's horticulture
produce such goodly fruits? Or sour-mug'd M-RL-Y's? Or leary L-BBY's?
Or Slawkenbergian M-ND-LLA's? Or even that o