FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122  
123   124   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   >>   >|  
nating than the amphibious and lascivious damsels of the Sandwich Islands, (to convert whom from the error of their ways, more missionaries have been sent out, or volunteered their services, than to all the rest of the "poor ignorant heathen" put together,) or the ladies of the North West Coast, who smell too strong of train-oil to comprehend the truths of Christianity, or rather of Calvanism, which is altogether another affair, and who are in consequence left in their original and antediluvian darkness. Impressed with this idea, and feeling both grieved and mortified that so excellent a young gentleman as Charles Morton should give himself up to such an absurd and, in their estimation, unnatural passion, the young ladies of New Bedford determined to tease him out of it; much upon the same principle as the Roman emperors endeavored to suppress the Christian religion by exposing its professors to wild beasts: the wild beasts grew fat upon Christians, and Christianity grew fat and strong upon persecution. Perhaps if the diademed tyrants had treated it with indifference, the effects would have been otherwise. Whenever poor Morton was met in company, he was always the object of ridicule to these lively and well-meaning young ladies. "Pray, Charles, do tell us something about this lady-love of yours; what's her complexion?" "How much train-oil does she drink in the course of a day?" said another. "Or how much raw shark serves her for a meal?" asked a third. "Does she wear a spritsail-yard through the gristle of her nose?" said a fourth. "Or a brass ring in her under lip?" said a fifth. "Is she tattooed on both cheeks, or only on one?" said a sixth. Such was the peculiar style of banter to which he was sure to be subjected, whenever he went into company; and in a short time he abstained from visits, and devoted his time to perfecting himself in his nautical studies, and making diligent inquiries after vessels bound round Cape Horn. If ever you noticed it, madam, a man in love does not relish jokes at the expense of his idol. "Ne lude cum sacris," ecclesiastically rendered, signifies, do not make fun of the clergy; but among lovers it means, do not speak of my love with levity or contempt. I remember when I was in love for the third or fourth time--I was then studying trigonometry and navigation--my passion being unable to expend itself in sonnets to my mistress's eyebrow, I gave way to geometrical flights
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122  
123   124   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
ladies
 

Morton

 

fourth

 

company

 

beasts

 
passion
 
Charles
 

strong

 
Christianity
 

tattooed


navigation

 

cheeks

 
studying
 

peculiar

 
banter
 

trigonometry

 
gristle
 
eyebrow
 

serves

 

mistress


sonnets

 

flights

 

geometrical

 

subjected

 

expend

 

spritsail

 

unable

 

noticed

 

relish

 

lovers


sacris

 
ecclesiastically
 

rendered

 

signifies

 

clergy

 
expense
 

devoted

 
remember
 

contempt

 
perfecting

visits
 

abstained

 
nautical
 
studies
 

vessels

 

making

 
levity
 

diligent

 
inquiries
 

consequence