and the potatory. As you may have noticed,
most of the miserable creatures on the wrong side of a bar adopt one of
two reprehensible courses: either they treat drinking as though the aim
of blending liquids were to imitate some French chef's fiddlefaddle--a
dash of bitters, a squirt of orange, an olive, cherry, or onion wrenched
from its proper place in the saladbowl, a twist of lemonpeel, sprig of
mint or lump of sugar and an eyedropperful of whisky; or else they
embrace the opposite extreme of vulgarity and gulp whatever rotgut is
thrust at them to addle their undiscerning brains and atrophy their
undiscriminating palates. Either practice is foreign to my nature and
philosophy. I believe the happiest combinations of liquors are simple
ones, containing no more than two ingredients, each of which should be
noble--that is to say, drinkable in its own right."

He raised his fresh glass, containing brandy and arrack. "No doubt you
have observed a catholicity in my taste; I range through the whole gamut
from usquebaugh to sake, though during the present conflict for obvious
patriotic reasons, I cross vodka from my list, while as a man born south
of the Mason-Dixon Line, sir, I leave gin to Nigras."

I must say, though somewhat startled by his manner of imbibing, I was
inclined to like General Thario, but I was impatient to discuss the
matter of a contract for Consolidated Pemmican. Every time I attempted
to bring the subject round to it he waved me grandly aside. "Dinner," he
confirmed, when the waiters brought in their trays. "Yes; no drink is
complete without a little bit of the right food to garnish it. Eating in
moderation I approve of; but mark my words, Albert, the man who takes a
meal on an empty stomach is digging his grave with his teeth."

If he would not talk business I could only hope his amiability would
carry over till I saw him again in his office tomorrow. I settled down
as far as I could, simply to enjoy his company. "You may have been
surprised at my referring to my life as unfortunate, Albert, but it is a
judicious adjective. Vilely unfortunate. I come of a military family,
you know; you will find footnotes mentioning the Tharios in the history
of every war this country has had."

He finished what was in his glass. "My misfortunes, like Tristram
Shandy's, began before my birth--and in the same way, exactly the same
way. My father was a scholar and a gentleman who dreamed his life away
over the campaig