con, so he needn't try. He must give
up the second job to some one or other. I'd have thought he'd have seen
that at once."

I referred to the dictionary.

"'Or the corrupt presentation of any one to an eccelesiastical benefice
for money or reward.' That's where he has you, Lalage. You were offering
to present him----"

"I wasn't. How could I?"

"He thought you were, any how, And the reward in this case evidently was
that your father should be made into an archdeacon."

"That's the greatest nonsense I ever heard. It wouldn't be a reward.
Father would simply hate it."

"The Archdeacon couldn't be expected to understand that. Having held the
office for so long himself he naturally regards it as highly desirable."

"What about the penalties?" said Hilda nervously.

"By far the best thing you can do," I said, "is to grovel profusely.
If you both cast ashes on your heads and let the tears run down your
cheeks----"

"If the Archdeacon is such a fool as you're trying to make out," said
Lalage, "I shall simply write to him and say that nothing on earth would
induce me to allow my father to parade the country dressed up in an
apron and a pair of tight black gaiters."

"If you say things like that to him," I said, "he'll exact the
penalties. See stat: 31 Elizabeth C. VII. You may not mind, but Hilda's
mother will."

"Yes," said Hilda, "she'll be frightfully angry."

At this moment my mother came into the library.

"Thank goodness," said Lalage, "we have some one at last who can talk
sense."

My mother looked questioningly at me. I offered her an explanation of
the position in the smallest possible number of words.

"The Archdeacon," I said, "is going to put Lalage and Hilda into prison
for simony."

"He can't," said Lalage, "for we didn't do it."

"They did," I said, "both of them. They offered to present the
Archdeacon corruptly to an ecclesiastical benefice for a reward."

"It wasn't a reward."

"Lalage," said my mother, "have you been meddling with this bishopric
election?"

"I simply tried," said Lalage, "to find out whether he was properly
qualified."

"You did more than that," I said; "you tried to get a reward."

"If you take my advice----" said my mother.

"I will," said Lalage, "and so will Hilda."

That threatening statute of Queen Elizabeth's must have frightened
Lalage. I never before knew her so meek.

"Then leave the question of the Archdeacon's qualifications," said my
mother, "to