He rose with the
intention of flattering the speakers and audience in the orthodox way,
but the electors, among whom a spirit of overflowing hilarity was at
large, took his duties out of his mouth.

"Don't smoodge, old cockroach, let the other blokes blaze away, as we
(the taxpayers) are paying dear for this spouting."

The barrister man M.P. burst upon them first with the latest trumpet
blare with which speeches were being opened. Having been primed as to
the magnitude of the railway vote in Noonoon, first move was to throw
a bone to it, and, metaphorically speaking, he got down on his knees
to this section of the electors, and howled and squealed that all
civil servants' wages would be left as they were.

He took another canter to flatter the ladies regarding the remarkably
intelligent vote they had cast in the Federal elections, and asserted
his belief that they would do likewise in the present crisis, and
introduce a nobler element into political life.

Creatures, a few months previously ranked lower than an almost
imbecile man, and with no more voice in the laws they lived under than
had lunatics or horses--it was miraculous what a power they had
suddenly grown! The man at the back saw the point--

"Blow it all, don't smoodge so. It ain't long since you was all rared
up on yer hind legs showin' how things would go to fury if wimmen had
the vote."

Having got past this prelude, he proceeded with a vigorous volley of
abuse against the sitting government, and showed how Walker, the
Opposition candidate, was the only man to vote for. He shook his
fists, stamped and raved, and illustrated how much a voice could
endure without cracking, the back people carefully waiting till he had
to pull up to take a drink out of one of the glasses on the spindley
table, when they got in with--

"You're mad! Keep cool! You'll bust a blood-vessel! When are you going
to give Tomato Jimmy a show to blow his horn?" This being a reference
to the calling of the other speaker, who was a middleman in the
vegetable and fruit-market. The first speaker, however, was not nearly
exhausted yet--he had to thump his fists on the unfortunate spindley
table, and work off several other oratorical poses and a deal of
elocutionary voice-play, ere he was finished. I fairly rolled with
enjoyment of the wonderful wit and humour of the crowd at the back,
which, unless it be put down as the critical faculty, is an
inexplicable phenomenon. Not one of t