OSE OF THE INNINGS.

W.H.S. (_Wicket-keeper_). "TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, UMPIRE:--IF THE
BOWLING'S GOING TO BE AS WILD--NEXT INNINGS--AS THIS, I SHALL '_RETIRE
HURT_'!"]

* * * * *

"LEBE WOHL! HELGOLAND!"

(_AN INCIDENT OF THE CESSION--HITHERTO UNREPORTED_.)

[Illustration]

The Representative of BRITANNIA'S Might had departed in appropriate
state, and the German Emperor had reached his destination. The new
landlord was most anxious to take possession. He was all impatience
to appear before his recently-acquired subjects, to show to them the
Military Uniform he had assumed after discarding that garb he loved
so well--the _grande tenue_ of an Honorary Admiral of the Fleet in
the service of VICTORIA, Queen, Empress, and Grandmother. There was
a consultation on board the _Hohenzollern_, and then a subdued German
cheer. The Chief Naval Officer approached His Majesty, cocked-hat in
hand.

"Sire," he said, falling on one knee; "all is now ready."

"But why has there been this delay?" asked WILLIAM THE SECOND, in a
tone of imperial command.

"Sire, we could not find the island. Unhappily we had mislaid--" and
then the naval officer paused--

"Your charts and field-glasses?" queried His Majesty.

"No, Sire," was the reply. Then, after some hesitation, the chief of
the German sailors continued, "The fact is, Your Majesty, I had lost
my microscope, and--" But further explanation was drowned in the sound
of saluting artillery. And the remainder of the day was devoted (by
those who could find room on the island) in equal proportions to smoke
and enthusiasm.

* * * * *

IN THE KNOW.

(_BY MR. PUNCH'S OWN PROPHET._)

Last week I published a dispatch conveying to me the exalted approval
of H.S.H. the Grand Duke of PFEIFENTOPF. The closing words of
His Serene Highness's gracious letter informed me that I had been
appointed a Knight of the Honigthau Order, one of the most ancient
and splendid orders known to chivalry.

When HUNDSVETTER VON VOGELANG, of whom the ancient Minnesingers relate
that in his anger he was wont to breathe forth fire from his mouth
and smoke from his nostrils, when, as I say, the valiant and gigantic
HUNDSVETTER, with his band of faithful retainers (amongst whom one
of our own CAVENDISHES--_der Zerschnittens_ as they called him, found
a place), was assailed in his ancestral Castle of Meerschaum by the
wild hordes of the Turkish Zig-'