ou are doin'? Get onto the band-wagon
along with the rest of us. It's goin' to be a good thing for the town.
It will bring a lot of spenders in here that day. They'll leave money
here. It will be a good time all 'round. It will give the town a good
name. Now, that money is goin' to be spent! I've made you chairman
of the whole general committee--as first selectman. You'll have the
principal say as to how the money is goin' to be spent. As long's
it's goin' to be spent that ought to be some satisfaction to you."

"You take that money--you and your gang of black-flaggers that has
captured this town on the high seas--and you rub it onto your
carkisses where it will do the most good," snorted the Cap'n. "Light
cigars with it--feed it to your elephant--send it up in a balloon--I
don't give a kihooted dam what you do with it. But don't you try to
enlist me under the skull and cross-bones!"

After this unpromising fashion did the conference begin. It was in
progress at noon--and Hiram remained to dinner. Breaking bread with
a friend has a consolatory effect--that cannot be denied. When they
were smoking after dinner, the first selectman grudgingly consented
to take charge of spending the money. He agreed finally with Hiram
that with him--the Cap'n--on the safety-valve, mere wasteful
folderols might be avoided--and the first selectman had seen enough
of the temper of his constituents to fear for consequences should
they get their hands into the treasury when he was not standing by.

"Now," said Hiram, in conclusion, "the committee is well organized.
There's a representative from each of the societies in town to act
with you and advise."

"I'd ruther try to steer a raft of lashed hen-coops from here to Bonis
Airs and back, under a barkentine rig," snapped the Cap'n. "I know
the kind o' critters they be. We won't get nowhere!"

"I had to put 'em onto the committee," apologized the people's
representative. "But, you see, you and the secretary will do
practically all the work. All you've got to do is just to make 'em
think they're workin'. But you and the secretary will be the whole
thing."

"Who is this secretary that I've got to chum with?" demanded the Cap'n,
suspiciously.

"You see"--Hiram choked and blinked his eyes, and looked away as he
explained--"it sort of had to be done, to please the people, because
he's the feller that thought it up--and he's the only lit'ry chap
we've got in town, and he--"

Cap'n Sproul go