_double Men_, are still fond of the _Ganymede's_
with smooth Chins; and they, who were at first _double Women_, are at this
Day enamoured of their own Sex, and _Platonicks_ as to any Commerce with
Ours.

I have heard so much to the Disadvantage of these _Inamorata's_, that I
consider a Man, who is link'd to such a Wife, in the State of the _Lover_
and his _Two Mistresses_ in the _Fable_. The one, who was a little turned
in Years, pulled out all his _black_ Hairs, to make him look nearer to her
Standing: and the other, who was in her Bloom, pick'd out all the _grey_
ones, that the World might not suspect she had an Old Man; 'till between
them, they made him as bald as Father _Time_ himself.

I shall conclude with the Story of an unfortunate Gentleman, who had
suffer'd heavily in this Way, and went abroad to avoid his Slavery. As he
was travelling from _Madrid_ to _Valladolid_, he found himself belated, and
wanted to take up his Night's Quarters in some middle Place. He was
informed, the nearest Way would bring him to a small Village, call'd
_Douegnas_; which with us would be the Village of _Governesses_. _But is
there no other Place_, said he, _within some reasonable Distance, either
short of, or beyond it_? They told him, No, unless it were at a _Gallows_.
_Nay, there shall be my Quarters then_, said he, _I am resolved; for a
Thousand_ Gibbets _are not so bad to me as One_ Douegna.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where
Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

Numb. XXI.

THE

THEATRE.

By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.

_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.

Price Two-pence.

[Greek: Kronides phrenas exeleto Zeus].

Homer.

Tuesday, _April 26. 1720._

The Writer who attempts either to divert, or instruct the Town, has,
perhaps, a worse Chance of succeeding now, than in any Age before. The
Conversation of the World is changed, Gaiety and Mirth are banished from
Society, and the buisy Affair of Avarice has taken up the Thoughts of every
Company; if a Man in a Coffee-House takes up a _News-Paper_, the first
Thing he turns to is the Price of the _Stocks_; if he looks over the
_Advertisements_, it is in Quest of some new _Project_; when he has
finished his Enquiry, and mixes in Conversation, you hear him expatiate
upon the Advantage of some favourite Project, or curse his Stars for
missing the l