bout the wise woman and the coat o' clay.

"Hout-tout!" said the landlord, with a wink. "I know what's wrong. Thou
'st got a skin o' dirt outside and all dry dust inside. Thou must
moisten it, lad, with a good drink, and then thou 'lt have a real
all-over coat o' clay."

"Hi," said the fool, "that's a good word."

So down he sat and began to drink. But it was wonderful how much liquor
it took to moisten so much dust; and each time he got to the bottom of
the pot he found he was still dry. At last he began to feel very merry
and pleased with himself.

"Hi, yi!" said he. "I've got a real coat o' clay now outside and
in--what a difference it do make, to be sure. I feel another man now--so
smart."

And he told the landlord he was certainly a wise man now, though he
couldn't speak over-distinctly after drinking so much. So up he got, and
thought he would go home and tell his mother she hadn't a fool for a son
any more.

But just as he was trying to get through the inn-door which would
scarcely keep still long enough for him to find it, up came the landlord
and caught him by the sleeve.

"See here, master," said he, "thou hasn't paid for thy score--where's
thy money?"

"Haven't any!" said the fool, and pulled out his pockets to show they
were empty.

"What!" said the landlord, and swore; "thou 'st drunk all my liquor and
haven't got nought to pay for it with!"

"Hi!" said the fool. "You told me to drink so as to get a coat o' clay;
but as I'm a wise man now I don't mind helping thee along in the world
a bit, for though I'm a smart fellow I'm not too proud to my friends."

"Wise man! smart fellow!" said the landlord, "and help me along, wilt
thee? Dang it! thou 'rt the biggest fool I ever saw, and it's I'll help
_thee_ first--out o' this!"

And he kicked him out of the door into the road and swore at him.

"Hum," said the fool, as he lay in the dust, "I'm not so wise as I
thought. I guess I'll go back to the wise woman and tell her there's a
screw loose somewhere."

So up he got and went along to her house, and found her sitting at the
door.

"So thou 'rt come back," said she, with a nod. "What dost thou want with
me now?"

So he sat down and told her how he'd tried to get a coat o' clay, and he
wasn't any wiser for all of it.

"No," said the wise woman, "thou 'rt a bigger fool than ever, my lad."

"So they all say," sighed the fool; "but where can I get the right sort
of coat o' clay, then, missis?"