'Be true as Truth to me,' I
could not but expose this propensity to self-delusion; and her answer
is her best explanation and defence:--

'I protest against your applying to me, even in your
most transient thought, such an epithet as "determined
exaggeration." Exaggeration, if you will; but not determined.
No; I would have all open to the light, and would let my
boughs be pruned, when they grow rank and unfruitful, even if
I felt the knife to the quick of my being. Very fain would I
have a rational modesty, without self-distrust; and may
the knowledge of my failures leaven my soul, and check its
intemperance. If you saw me wholly, you would not, I think,
feel as you do; for you would recognize the force, that
regulates my life and tempers the ardor with an eventual
calmness. You would see, too, that the more I take my flight
in poetical enthusiasm, the stronger materials I bring back
for my nest. Certainly I am nowise yet an angel; but neither
am I an utterly weak woman, and far less a cold intellect.
God is rarely afar off. Exquisite nature is all around. Life
affords vicissitudes enough to try the energies of the human
will. I can pray, I can act, I can learn, I can constantly
immerse myself in the Divine Beauty. But I also need to
love my fellow-men, and to meet the responsive glance of my
spiritual kindred.'

Again, she says:--

'I like to hear you express your sense of my defects. The
word "arrogance" does not, indeed, appear to me to be just;
probably because I do not understand what you mean. But in due
time I doubtless shall; for so repeatedly have you used it,
that it must stand for something real in my large and rich,
yet irregular and unclarified nature. But though I like to
hear you, as I say, and think somehow your reproof does me
good, by myself, I return to my native bias, and feel as if
there was plenty of room in the universe for my faults, and
as if I could not spend time in thinking of them, when so
many things interest me more. I have no defiance or coldness,
however, as to these spiritual facts which I do not know;
but I must follow my own law, and bide my time, even if, like
Oedipus, I should return a criminal, blind and outcast, to
ask aid from the gods. Such possibilities, I confess, give
me great awe; for I have more sense than most, of the tr