is to have entertained passing
doubts on this delicate point. I said, Whatever errors I had committed,
arose from my anxiety to have everything explained to her honour: my
conduct shewed that I had that at heart, and that I built on the purity
of her character as on a rock. My esteem for her amounted to adoration.
"She did not want adoration." It was only when any thing happened to
imply that I had been mistaken, that I committed any extravagance,
because I could not bear to think her short of perfection. "She was far
from perfection," she replied, with an air and manner (oh, my God!) as
near it as possible. "How could she accuse me of a want of regard to
her? It was but the other day, Sarah," I said to her, "when that little
circumstance of the books happened, and I fancied the expressions your
sister dropped proved the sincerity of all your kindness to me--you
don't know how my heart melted within me at the thought, that after all,
I might be dear to you. New hopes sprung up in my heart, and I felt as
Adam must have done when his Eve was created for him!" "She had heard
enough of that sort of conversation," (moving towards the door). This,
I own, was the unkindest cut of all. I had, in that case, no hopes
whatever. I felt that I had expended words in vain, and that the
conversation below stairs (which I told you of when I saw you) had
spoiled her taste for mine. If the allusion had been classical I should
have been to blame; but it was scriptural, it was a sort of religious
courtship, and Miss L. is religious!
At once he took his Muse and dipt her Right in the middle of the
Scripture.
It would not do--the lady could make neither head nor tail of it. This
is a poor attempt at levity. Alas! I am sad enough. "Would she go and
leave me so? If it was only my own behaviour, I still did not doubt of
success. I knew the sincerity of my love, and she would be convinced of
it in time. If that was all, I did not care: but tell me true, is there
not a new attachment that is the real cause of your estrangement? Tell
me, my sweet friend, and before you tell me, give me your hand (nay,
both hands) that I may have something to support me under the dreadful
conviction." She let me take her hands in mine, saying, "She supposed
there could be no objection to that,"--as if she acted on the
suggestions of others, instead of following her own will--but still
avoided giving me any answer. I conjured her to tell
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