to
be informed as to the true meaning of Colombo's subtleties.

"Well, now", said King Ferdinand, "of course, to fit out such an
expedition would require great expense, my dear Colombo--great
expense. And, of course, you know, Colombo, that when investors can buy
Inquisition 4 1/4's for 89 it would be extremely difficult to raise the
money for such a speculative project--oh, extremely difficult. And then
you must consider the present depression--tell me now, Colombo", said
King Ferdinand, "how long do you think this depression will last, for I
seek, above all things, a return to healthy normalcy."

"Well, truly", replied Colombo, "that would be most difficult to say. I
note that on Rodigruez Babsyn's last chart--"

"I wish this Babsyn and his charts were in hell", said King Ferdinand,
"for it was he who advised me to sell Queen Isabel's silver holdings.
But it occurs to me, Colombo, that in connection with this land-of-gold
scheme of yours, you mentioned something about sailing to the westward.
Now Colombo, that would be a distinct disadvantage when it came to
marketing the bonds, for as you must already know, one cannot sail to
the west without encountering fierce and enormous monsters who swallow,
I am told, whole ships at a gulp."

"Now as to that", said Colombo, somewhat embarrassed at the turn of the
conversation for WEST had merely happened to better suit the rhymes of
his poem, "you may be right, and I should not go so far as to say you
are wrong, but still at the same time", said Colombo, "is there any
gentleman in the audience who can lend me an egg and a silk hat?"

And when an unmentionable egg and a doubtful silk hat had been produced
in a manner which it is not convenient to mention Colombo rolled up both
his sleeves and spoke the magic speech as he had learned it on a certain
Thursday from the sorcerer Thyrston.

"Ladies and gentlemen", said Colombo, "I have here a common household
egg which I shall now ask the ushers to pass among you so you may see
for yourself that there are no wires or strings attached. While this is
being done, ladies and gentlemen, I wish that three of you would step up
on the stage. Any three--don't be bashful girls--I won't hurt you. Won't
that couple over there kindly oblige me--that married couple--no, folks,
I guess they aren't married either--they look too happy."

Very painful it was to Colombo to hear these horrible jokes coming
from his mouth, but Thyrston had quoted