VAIN. Ay, or anybody that she's about--

BELL. No, faith, Frank, you wrong her; she has been just to you.

VAIN. That's pleasant, by my troth, from thee, who hast had her.

BELL. Never--her affections. 'Tis true, by heaven: she owned it to my
face; and, blushing like the virgin morn when it disclosed the cheat
which that trusty bawd of nature, night, had hid, confessed her soul was
true to you; though I by treachery had stolen the bliss.

VAIN. So was true as turtle--in imagination--Ned, ha? Preach this
doctrine to husbands, and the married women will adore thee.

BELL. Why, faith, I think it will do well enough, if the husband be out
of the way, for the wife to show her fondness and impatience of his
absence by choosing a lover as like him as she can; and what is unlike,
she may help out with her own fancy.

VAIN. But is it not an abuse to the lover to be made a blind of?

BELL. As you say, the abuse is to the lover, not the husband. For 'tis
an argument of her great zeal towards him, that she will enjoy him in
effigy.

VAIN. It must be a very superstitious country where such zeal passes for
true devotion. I doubt it will be damned by all our Protestant husbands
for flat idolatry. But, if you can make Alderman Fondlewife of your
persuasion, this letter will be needless.

BELL. What! The old banker with the handsome wife?

VAIN. Ay.

BELL. Let me see--_Laetitia_! Oh, 'tis a delicious morsel. Dear Frank,
thou art the truest friend in the world.

VAIN. Ay, am I not? To be continually starting of hares for you to
course. We were certainly cut out for one another; for my temper quits
an amour just where thine takes it up. But read that; it is an
appointment for me, this evening--when Fondlewife will be gone out of
town, to meet the master of a ship, about the return of a venture which
he's in danger of losing. Read, read.

BELL. [_reads_.] Hum, Hum--Out of town this evening, and talks of
sending for Mr. Spintext to keep me company; but I'll take care he shall
not be at home. Good! Spintext! Oh, the fanatic one-eyed parson!

VAIN. Ay.

BELL. [_reads_.] Hum, Hum--That your conversation will be much more
agreeable, if you can counterfeit his habit to blind the servants. Very
good! Then I must be disguised?--With all my heart!--It adds a gusto to
an amour; gives it the greater resemblance of theft; and, among us lewd
mortals, the deeper the sin the sweeter. Frank, I'm amaze