d, and I object."

"Yes," I replied, "so do I," as a fat man opposite sucked his knife
first to clean it, and then helped himself to butter. "The liberty of
the subject entitles him to do as he will with his own food, but
scarcely with that of the masses," I added.

As other knives were shortly used in the same way, neither my
companion nor I cared to have butter, and contented ourselves with
cheese, which luckily was cut at a side-table, and presented to us in
large blocks, in the shape of dice, mathematically correct as to
planes and angles.

I shall never forget the berth I was given on board that steamer. It
was a lower one, and as to sheets and bedding clean enough, but the
cabin, a deck one, was very low, and thus the space for two berths,
one above the other, was confined. There was only about fifteen
inches' space between the two, entailing when lying down a painful
sensation of confinement. But to get in at all was the difficulty,
only exceeded by the difficulty of getting out. The only way of
getting in practicable was by lying quite flat on the projecting
board, considerately, I presume, placed there for the purpose, and
wriggling in like a worm; to get out much the same, except that the
upper sheet and blankets came out with you, and increased the
difficulty. They say one gets used to everything, but this I do deny;
I should never have got used to that berth, for entering or leaving
it was a gymnastic and painful puzzle.

There was an American stewardess on board, to whom I complained of
the berth in my cabin. She bristled up dreadfully as she replied,
"Cabin! I guess you're a Britisher. I presume you mean your
state-room. As for the berth, I guess again it whips what you're
accustomed to the other side of the water," and she sailed off with
great dignity.

I felt crushed, of course, but I called after her, "Well, it _is_ a
state-room in one sense, for the state I get into before I succeed in
crawling in quite--" But she had slammed the saloon door, and could
hear no more. True, I had the last word, still I did not feel I had
come off victorious.

The Americans know the value of time; anyhow the way they despatch
their meals argues it. When the bell rings for dinner on board ship
or at an hotel, there is a strange scene. As the time approaches, so
eager is the expectation, conversation lulls. Some, anxious to get a
good start, congregate near the companion ladder or the door. Tingle,
tingle, at last