g themselves.

"I have a kind of suspicion that the Europeans are cannibals; for they
shut large flocks of healthful and strong persons in certain inclosures,
called cloisters, for the purpose of making them fat and smooth. This
object seldom fails, as these prisoners, free from all labor and care,
have nothing to do but to enjoy themselves in these gardens of pleasure.

"Europeans commonly drink water in the morning to cool their stomachs;
this object accomplished, they drink brandy to heat them again.

"In Europe are two principal sects in religion; the Roman catholic and
the protestant. The protestants worship but one God; the catholics,
several. Each city and village, with these, has its appropriate God or
Goddess. All these deities are created by the pope, or superior priest
at Rome, who, on his part, is chosen by certain other priests, called
cardinals. The mighty power of these creators of the creator of the
gods, does not, as it would seem to an indifferent spectator, apparently
alarm the people.

"The ancient inhabitants of Italy subdued the whole world, and obeyed
their wives; the present, on the contrary, abuse their wives and submit
to the whole world.

"The Europeans generally feed upon the same victuals with the
subterraneans. The Spaniards alone live on the air.

"Commerce flourishes here and there; many things are offered for sale in
Europe, which with us are never objects of trade. Thus in Rome, people
sell heaven; in Switzerland, themselves; and in * * * * * * *, the
crown, sceptre and throne are offered at public auction.

"In Spain, idleness is the true mark of a well-bred man; and the
distinguishing proof of pure nobility is an aptitude to sleep.

"Among European writers, those are in the highest repute, who change the
natural order of words, making that which is in itself simple and
distinct, intricate and incomprehensible. The class most noted for this
abominable perversion of style is that of the 'poets:' this singular
removal of words is called 'poetry.' The capability to puzzle is by no
means the only requisite to become a true poet; one must be able to lie
most terribly. A certain old poet named Homerus, who possessed both
these qualities in an eminent degree, is styled the 'master,' and is
idolized with a kind of divine worship. He has had many imitators of his
distortion of sentences and falsification of truth; but, it is said,
none have yet reached his excellence.

"The cultivator