footling hospital ball last night, and I only got three hours'
sleep instead of six, and you're angry with me because I yawned after you
kissed me.

NINA. You're too utterly absurd!

RUSS. Of course I am. That's not the reason, either. The real reason is
(_firmly_) you're angry with me because you clean forgot it was my
birthday today. That's why you're angry with me.

NINA. Well, I think you might have reminded me....

NINA. I like sitting on the carpet.

(_She reclines at his feet._) I wonder why women nowadays are so fond of
the floor.

RUSS. Because they're oriental, of course.

NINA. But I'm not oriental, Hughie! (_Looking at him with loving
passion._) Am I?

RUSS. That's the Eastern question.

NINA. But you like it, don't you?

RUSS. Every man has a private longing to live in the East.

NINA. But not harems and things?

RUSS. Well--within reason....

NINA. What do you think of me? I'm always dying to know, and I'm never
sure.

RUSS. What do you think of _me_?

NINA. I think you're magnificent and terrible and ruthless.

RUSS (_with amicable sincerity_). Oh, no, I'm not. But you are.

NINA. How? When? When was I ruthless last?

RUSS. You're always ruthless in your appetite for life. You want to taste
everything, enjoy all the sensations there are. This evening you like
intensely to sit very quiet on the floor; but last night you were mad
about dancing and eating and drinking. You couldn't be still. Tomorrow
night it'll be something else. There's no end to what you want, and what
you want tremendously, and what you've jolly well got to have. You aren't
a woman. You're a hundred women.

NINA. Oh! Hughie. How well you understand!

RUSS. Yes, don't I?

NINA (_tenderly_). Do I make you very unhappy? Hughie, you mustn't tell me
I make you unhappy. I couldn't bear it.

RUSS. Then I won't.

NINA. But do I?

RUSS. Let's say you cause a certain amount of disturbance sometimes.

NINA. But you like me to be as I am, don't you?

RUSS. Yes.

NINA. You wouldn't have me altered?

RUSS. Can't alter a climate.

NINA. You don't know how much I want to be perfect for you.

RUSS. You know my ruthless rule, "The best is good enough; chuck
everything else into the street." Have I ever, on any single occasion,
chucked you into the street?

NINA. But I want to be more perfect.

RUSS. Why do women always hanker after the impossible?

J. Hartley Manners is the husband of Laurette Taylor and the au