yer how ter save
Ther kentry frum tarnation ruin, by sendin' only men
That's fit ter draw ther salaries, an' honest--jest like them.

III.

"So listen, boys--yer'll profit by ther story that I tell--
I left ther farm ter 'lectioneer an' run fur constable;
I wouldn't hearken ter my wife--she said I'd lost my wit,
An' as fur holdin' offices--_she_ knowed _I_ wusn't fit.

IV.

"But ennyhow, I sold er steer, an' then er heifer calf,
An' bought er bran' new suit o' clothes fur twenty an' er half,
An' 'fore ther 'lection day cum roun' I'd sold my wheat an' oats,
An' spent ther proceeds that I got in purchasin' uv votes.

V.

"I knowed 'twus wrong--agin ther law--ter do er thing like that--
But then ther boys all said, yer know, 'twould take er little 'fat,'
Fur ther feller that I run agin could have no earthly hope
Uv beatin' me if I'd use ther right amount uv 'soap.'

VI.

"I jocks I did--I won ther fight--I sarved er single term--
(But fur ther salary that I got I wouldn't give er durn);
An' right up here I wear ther scar that shows whar I wus hit
Ther day I rid fur forty miles ter sarve that cussed 'writ!'"

JONES' MARE.

I.

Now Farmer Jones was noted for fast horses on his place,
And also as the father of a son with freckled face,
And hair so red it looked as if it had been dyed in blood,
And Ephraim was the "masher" of the country neighborhood.

II.

This Ephraim Jones' yellow mare, she was no nice and fleet
That all the girls for miles around on Eph. were very "sweet,"
In hopes to get a ride or two behind her on the road,
With sleigh-bells jingling 'round her neck, some day when it had snowed.

III.

Or else to spin along the pike, with buggy top let down,
And ribbons sailing out behind, when Eph. would drive to town,
The envy of the country boys, and many maidens fair
A-casting wistful glances at the youth with reddish hair.

IV.

This thing went on till finally our Ephraim fell in love
With Tildy Ann Serepty Brown--as gentle as a dove--
Of all the girls around about the reigning country bell,
Whose father was as rich as cream--he'd struck an oil well!

V.

About three nights in every week could Ephraim's yellow mare
Be found a-standing hitched outside, while he was courting there,
And so the boys, with envy mad and jealousy aroused,
To humble Eph. hit on a plan they heartily espoused.

VI.

If anything in all the world, beside sweet Tildy Ann,
Was dear to E