et this save
us both from further misunderstanding.

"C."

Again and again did I read these words. Not one woman in a hundred would
have ventured on such a step. And for what? to save me from the
mortification of a rejection? It could be nothing else. How easy for a
man of heartless gallantry to have written a cool note in reply,
disclaiming "any aspiration after the honour implied," and placing the
warm-hearted writer in the predicament of having declined attentions
never meant to be serious! But I felt how kindly, how gently, I had been
treated--the worst of it was, I loved her better than ever. I wrote some
incoherent words in reply, sufficiently expressive of my bitter
disappointment, and my admiration of her conduct; and then I felt "that
my occupation was gone." She whom I had so loved to look upon, I
trembled now to see. I had no mind to break my heart; but I felt that
time and change were necessary to prevent it. Above all, Glyndewi was no
place for me to forget _her_ in.

In the midst of my painful reflections on all the happy hours of the
past week, Gordon and Willingham broke in upon me with high matter for
consultation relative to the match, In vain did I plead sudden illness,
and inability to play: they declared it would knock the whole thing on
the head, for Hanmer would be sure to turn sulky, and there was an end
of the eleven; and they looked so really chagrined at my continued
refusals, that at length I conquered my selfishness, (I had had a lesson
in that,) and, though really feeling indisposed for any exertion, went
down with them to the ground. I was in momentary dread of seeing Clara
arrive, (for all the world was to be there,) and felt nervous and
low-spirited. The strangers' eleven was a better one than we expected,
and they put our men out pretty fast. Hanmer got most unfortunately run
out after a splendid hit, and begged me to go in and "do something." I
took my place mechanically, and lost my wicket to the first ball. We
made a wretched score, and the strangers went in exultingly. In spite of
Hanmer's steady bowling, they got runs pretty fast; and an easy catch
came into my hands just as Clara appeared on the ground, and I lost all
consciousness of what I was about. Again the same opportunity offered,
and again my eyes were wandering among the tents. Hanmer got annoyed,
and said something not over civil: I vas vexed myself that my
carelessness should be the cause of disappointment twice,