ic, and never have been, of course," she conceded.
"My dear Victoria, of course not," said I, laughing openly.
"We have had our quarrels."
"The quarrels wouldn't trouble me in the least."
"We don't expect too much of one another."
"I seem to be listening to the address on the wedding day."
"You're an exasperating creature!" and with that came the kiss.
Victoria's affection was always grateful to me, but in the absence of
Wetter and Varvilliers, neither of whom had made any sign as yet, I was
bereft of all intellectual sympathy. I had looked to find some in the
Duke, and some, as I believe, there was; but its flow was checked and
turned by what I must call a repressed resentment. His wife's blind
heartiness was impossible to him, and he read with a clear eye the mind
of a loved daughter. With him also I ranked as a necessity; so far as
the necessity was distasteful to Elsa, it was unpalatable to him.
Beneath his friendliness, and side by side with an unhesitating
acceptance of the position, there lay this grudge, not acknowledged,
bound to incur instant absurdity as the price of any open assertion of
itself, but set in his mind and affecting his disposition toward me. He
was not so foolish as to blame me; but I was to him the occasion of
certain fears and shrinkings, possibly of some qualms as to his own part
in the matter, and thus I became a less desired companion. There was
something between us, a subject always present, never to be mentioned.
As a result, there came constraint. My pride took alarm, and my polite
distance answered in suitable terms to his reticent courtesy. I believe,
however, that we found one common point in a ludicrous horror of Cousin
Elizabeth's behaviour. Had she assumed the air she wore, she must have
ranked as a diplomatist; having succeeded in the great task of
convincing herself, she stands above those who can boast only of
deceiving others. To Cousin Elizabeth the alliance was a love match; had
she possessed the other qualities, her self-persuasion would have been
enough to enable her to found a religious sect and believe that she was
sent from heaven for its prophet.
Amid this group of faces, all turned toward the same object but with
expressions subtly various, I spent my days, studying them all, and
finding (here has been nature's consolation to me) relief from my own
thoughts in an investigation of the mind of others. The portentous
pretence on which we were engaged need
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