the better. The wishes of her ladyship were tantamount to
commands. Sir Hercules pronounced my father to be a fool, and they were
married.

My mother was a good-looking person, perhaps two or three years older
than my father; she was of a very bad temper, very vindictive and
revengeful, and in every way she had a pleasure in annoying other
people, and when she succeeded she invariably concluded her remarks
with, "There--now you're vexed!" Whenever out of humour herself from
the observations of others, she attempted to conceal her vexation by
singing; and having been so many years of her life in the nursery, her
songs were usually those little ditties used to pacify or amuse children
in arms. "Saunders," she would cry out, "if you aren't the biggest fool
that ever walked on two legs--to look at that long tail of yours you're
so proud of, one would think I'd married a monkey--a _hourang-howtang_,
instead of a man. There--now you're vexed! One can't open one's
mouth." My mother knew where to strike; and this attack upon his
pigtail was certain to provoke my father, who would retort in no
measured language, till she, in her turn, lost her temper, and then out
she would sing, in a sort of scream--

"Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon," etcetera.

And thus she continued to sing (or squeal) until her wrath cooled down.

The consequences of forming a matrimonial alliance with a captain's
coxswain soon became visible. Six months after they had been married,
Lady Hercules pronounced my mother's appearance to be quite indecent,
and declared her no longer fit for the office of lady's maid to a lady
of her exquisite delicacy; and my mother, who became less active every
day, received notice to quit, which she did, when her month was up, in
great wrath, packing up her boxes, and slamming the door as she left the
house, singing at the very highest pitch of her voice:--

"Dickory, dickory, dock; the mouse ran up the clock," etcetera.

My father wished her to come and live with him on board the frigate; but
to that my mother would not consent, saying, that she had, it was true,
degraded herself and her family by marrying a coxswain, but she was not
going to further contaminate herself by mixing with the vulgar creatures
on board. In this resolve I think my mother was right; but her
dismissal and disgrace was followed up by my father being disrated and
turned into the main-top, f