t
_Hiren_ here?"

"I wasn't _hired_ as a cook, at all events," replied Tom: "but I'm
rather a _dab_ at it."

"Then shalt thou have the _place_," replied the actor.

"With all my heart and _soul_," cried Tom, taking out his knife, and
commencing the necessary operation of skinning the fish.

In half-an-hour all was ready: the fair Titania did me the honour to
seat herself upon my jacket, to ward off any damp from the ground. The
other ladies had also taken their respective seats, as allotted by the
mistress of the revels; the tables were covered by many of the good
things of this life; the soup was ready in a tureen at one end, and Tom
had just placed the fish on the table, while Mr Quince and
Winterbottom, by the commands of Titania, were despatched for the wine
and other varieties of potations. When they returned, eyeing one
another askance, Winterbottom looking daggers at his opponent, and
Quince not quite easy even under the protection of Titania, Tom had just
removed the frying-pan from the fire with its residuary grease still
bubbling. Quince having deposited his load, was about to sit down, when
a freak came into Tom's head, which, however, he dared not put into
execution himself; but "a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse,"
says the proverb. Winterbottom stood before Tom, and Quince with his
back to them. Tom looked at Winterbottom, pointing slily to the
frying-pan, and then to the hinder parts of Quince. Winterbottom
snatched the hint and the frying-pan at the same moment. Quince
squatted himself down with a serge, as they say at sea, quoting at the
time--"Marry, our play is the most lamentable comedy"--but putting his
hands behind him, to soften his fall, they were received into the hot
frying-pan, inserted behind him by Winterbottom.

"Oh, Lord! oh! oh!" shrieked Mr Quince, springing up like lightning,
bounding in the air with the pain, his hands behind him still adhering
to the frying-pan.

At the first scream of Mr Quince, the whole party had been terrified;
the idea was that a snake had bitten him, and the greatest alarm
prevailed; but when they perceived the cause of the disaster, even his
expressions of pain could not prevent their mirth. It was too
ludicrous. Still the gentlemen and ladies condoled with him, but Mr
Quince was not to be reasoned with. He walked away to the river-side,
Mr Winterbottom slily enjoying his revenge, for no one but Tom had an
idea that it was anything bu