and
Serb into one of my ears, while the Bulgar shouted French and Bulgar
into the other, and the English manager at intervals begged me to
"tell him what was the matter." Even when invited out for a day in
the country the Serb and Bulgar peasants refused to dance together.
John Bull did his best to work up an anti-Serb demonstration more
than once. But though we balanced on the edge of hostilities, the
Balkan War did not break out at Earl's Court.

I have often thought since it was a pity the Foreign Office did not
study our methods.

The five Montenegrins who came "to help" were far too proud to do
any work at all, or associate with any of the others. They looked on
the Bulgars as foreigners, and despised the Serbs.

Montenegro's attitude was shown by Petar Plamenatz, who arrived for
a week's visit as special Commissioner for Montenegro just in time
for the opening ceremony, when I had done the whole preliminary work
of arranging the show.

Lord Fitzmaurice invited all the Balkan representatives to lunch. I
translated the invitation to Petar. "I shall not go," said he. "I
have a headache."

"That makes nothing," said I, "you are here to represent Montenegro.
This invitation is an honour, and I accept it for you." Petar was
surprised. He had naively imagined that as Commissioner for
Montenegro it was he who conferred the honour upon Lord Fitzmaurice.
He went, however. I asked how the party had gone off.

"It was really extraordinary," said Petar. "Do you know that of all
the Balkan representatives, I was the only one who knew how to
conduct myself in a comme il faut manner!" The next invitation, a
dinner, he flatly refused to accept. I was still more resolved that
if I had to "run" the exhibition for Montenegro, Petar should
continue to behave comme il faut. He dodged and excused vainly. I
wrung the truth from him. He had no clean shirt. It is the only time
I ever bought an evening shirt for a gentleman.

Petar left after the most strenuous week of his life. Nothing,
however, would induce his five compatriots to do anything at all,
and just as they thought they had demonstrated that as the finest
representatives of the South Slav stock, their mission in life was
to exist and look beautiful, to their intense surprise the
management sent them home.

Meanwhile, our inability to obtain any reply to business questions
from Montenegro was explained by the sudden news of the discovery of
a plot to assassinate Prin