early struggles for fame,
and of his friends and companions of years ago. "Where are they now?" he
asked himself, sadly. "Some are wanderers on the face of the earth, in
comic operas. Two of them found ignoble graves in the 'Tourists''
company. Others are sleeping beneath the daisies in Harper's 'Editor's
Drawer.'"

"You're called, sir!"

The Old Gag awoke from his reverie, started to his feet, and, throwing
aside his heavy ulster, staggered to the entrance and stood there
patiently waiting for his cue.

"You're hardly strong enough to go on to-night," said a Merry Jest,
touching him kindly on the arm; but the gray-bearded one shook him off,
saying hoarsely:

"Let be! Let be! I must read those old lines once more--it may be for
the last time."

And now a solemn hush fell upon the vast audience as a sad-faced
minstrel uttered in tear-compelling accents the most pathetic words in
all the literature of minstrelsy:

"And so you say, Mr. Johnson, that all the people on the ship were
perishing of hunger, and yet you were eating fried eggs. How do you
account for that?"

For one moment a deathlike silence prevailed. Then the Old Gag stepped
forward and in clear, ringing tones replied:

"The ship lay to, and I got one."

A wild, heartrending sob came from the audience and relieved the tension
as the Old Gag staggered back into the entrance and fell into the
friendly arms that were waiting to receive him.

Sobbing Conundrums bore him to a couch in the dressing-room. Weeping
Jokes strove in vain to bring back the spark of life to his inanimate
form. But all to no avail.

The Old Gag was dead.

IN ELIZABETH'S DAY

BY WALLACE RICE

Who would not give the treasure
Of very many lives
If some kind fate would pleasure
To let him be where Ben is
A-playing Kit at tennis,
Or playing Will at fives?

The racquet ne'er so deftly
Is turned, whoever strives,
The ball flies ne'er so swiftly
As thought and tongue where Ben is
A-playing Kit at tennis,
Or playing Will at fives.

THE TWO AUTOMOBILISTS

BY CAROLYN WELLS

Once on a Time there were Two Young Men, each of whom Bought an
Automobile.

One Young Man, being of a Bold and Audacious nature, said:

"I will make my Machine go so Fast that I will break all Previous
Records."

Accordingly, he did So, and he Flew through the Small Town like a Red
Dragon Pursuing his Prey.