mselves, and of each other, and they
feared the venture. If Mr. Cecil Burleigh had been without ambition, his
secretaryship would have maintained them a modest home; but neither had
he a mind for the exclusive retired pleasures of the domestic hearth,
nor she the wish to forego the delights of society. There was no romance
in poverty for Julia Gardiner. It was too familiar; it signified to her
shifts, privations, expediencies, rude humiliations, and rebuffs. And
that was not the life for Mr. Cecil Burleigh. Their best friends said
so, and they acquiesced. From this it followed that the time was come
for them to part. Julia was twenty-four. The present opportunity of
settling herself by a desirable marriage lost, she might never have
another--might wear away youth, beauty, expectation, until no residuum
were left her but bitterness and regret. She would have risked it at a
word from Cecil, but that word was not spoken. He reasoned with himself
that he had no right to speak it. He was not prepared to give all for
love, though he keenly regretted what he resigned. He realized frankly
that he lost in losing Julia a true, warm sympathizer in his
aspirations, and a loving peace in his heart that had been a God's
blessing to him. Oh, if there had been only a little more money between
them!
He reflected on many things, but on this most, and as he reflected there
came a doubt upon him whether it was well done to sever himself from the
dear repose he had enjoyed in loving her--whether there might not be a
more far-sighted prudence in marrying her than in letting her go. Men
have to ask their wives whether life shall be a success with them or
not. And Julia had been so much to him, so encouraging, such a treasure
of kindness! Whatever else he might win, without her he would always
miss something. His letters to her of six years were a complete history
of their course. Was it probable that he would ever be able to write so
to the rosy-cheeked little girl on board the Foam? Julia was equal with
him, a cultivated woman and a perfect companion.
But what profit was there in going back upon it? They had determined
that it must not be. In a few days he was expected at Abbotsmead:
Norminster wanted to hear from him. A general election impended, and he
had been requested to offer himself as a candidate in the Conservative
interest for that ancient city. Mr. Fairfax was already busy in his
behalf, and Mr. John Short, the Conservative law
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