, I might as well say you're
hardly forty, when everybody knows you're most fifty."

"Most fifty!" ejaculated the scandalized spinster. "It's a base slander.
I'm only forty-three."

"Maybe I'm mistaken," said Jack, carelessly. "I didn't know exactly. I
only judged from your looks."

"'Judge not that ye be not judged!'" said Rachel, whom this explanation
was not likely to appease. "The world is full of calumny and
misrepresentation. I've no doubt you would like to shorten my days upon
the earth, but I sha'n't live long to trouble any of you. I feel that,
ere the summer of life is over, I shall be gathered into the garden of
the Great Destroyer."

At this point, Rachel applied a segment of a pocket-handkerchief to her
eyes; but unfortunately, owing to circumstances, the effect, instead of
being pathetic, as she had intended, was simply ludicrous.

It so happened that a short time previous the inkstand had been
partially spilled on the table, and this handkerchief had been used to
sop it up. It had been placed inadvertently on the window-seat, where
it had remained till Rachel, who sat beside the window, called it into
requisition. The ink upon it was by no means dry. The consequence was
that, when Rachel removed it from her eyes, her face was found to be
covered with ink in streaks,--mingling with the tears that were falling,
for Rachel always had tears at her command.

The first intimation the luckless spinster had of her misfortune, was
conveyed in a stentorian laugh from Jack, whose organ of mirthfulness,
marked _very large_ by the phrenologist, could not withstand such a
provocation to laughter.

He looked intently at the dark traces of sorrow upon his aunt's face,
of which she was yet unconscious--and doubling up, went into a perfect
paroxysm of laughter.

Aunt Rachel looked equally amazed and indignant.

"Jack!" said his mother, reprovingly, for she had not observed the cause
of his amusement. "It's improper for you to laugh at your aunt in such a
rude manner."

"Oh, I can't help it, mother. It's too rich! Just look at her," and Jack
went off into another paroxysm.

Thus invited, Mrs. Crump did look, and the rueful expression of Rachel,
set off by the inky stains, was so irresistibly comical, that, after a
little struggle, she too gave way, and followed Jack's example.

Astounded and indignant at this unexpected behavior of her
sister-in-law, Rachel burst into a fresh fit of weeping, and again had
re