h in
this moment of exaltation he did not doubt.

"Yes, speak of it," I said. "All the more because it is nothing. For it
_can_ be nothing."

"I want to punish myself for asking an explanation about Godensky, by
not allowing you to explain this other thing," insisted poor, loyal,
repentant Raoul. "Then--at the time--it made all the rest seem worse, a
thousand times worse. But I saw through black spectacles. Now I see
through rose-coloured ones."

"I'd rather you saw through your own dear eyes, without any spectacles.
You must tell me what you're thinking of, dear. For my own sake, if not
yours."

"Well--if you will know. But, remember, darling, I'm going to put it out
of my mind. I'll ask you no questions, I'll only--tell you the thing
itself. As I said, I didn't come here directly after seeing Godensky get
into your carriage. I wandered about like a madman--and I thought of the
Seine."

"Oh--you must indeed have been mad!"

"I was. But that something saved me--the something that drove me to find
you. I walked here, by roundabout ways, but always coming nearer and
nearer, as if being drawn into a whirlpool. At last, I was in this
street, on the side opposite your house. I hadn't made up my mind yet,
that I would try to see you. I didn't know what I would do. I stood
still, and tried to think. It was very black, in the angle between two
garden walls where the big plane tree sprouts up, you know. Nobody who
didn't expect to find a man would have noticed me in the darkness. I
hadn't been there for two minutes when a man turned the corner, walking
very fast. As he passed the street lamp just before reaching the garden
wall, I saw him plainly--not his face, but his figure, and he was young
and well dressed, in travelling clothes. I thought he looked like an
Englishman. He went straight to your gate and rang. A moment later
someone, I couldn't see who, opened the gate and let him in.
Involuntarily I took a step forward, with the idea of following--of
pushing my way in to see who he was and who had opened the gate. But I
wasn't quite mad enough to act like a cad. The gate shut. Oh, Maxine,
there were evil and cruel thoughts in my mind, I confess it to you--but
how they made me suffer! I stood as if I were turned to stone, and I
only wished that I might be, for a stone knows no pain. Just then a
motor cab going slowly along the street stopped in front of your gate.
There were two women in it. I could see them by the lig