g: nor have I in my
time heard anything comparable to it in charity of sentiment, when I
consider the detestable outrage Hillford suffered under.

The parading of the drum, the trombone, a horn, two whistles, and a
fife, in front of Hillford booth, caught the fancy of the Clubmen, who
roared out parting adjurations that the music was not to be spared; and
that Tom Breeks was a musical fellow, with a fine empty pate, if any one
of the instruments should fail perchance. They were to give Ipley plenty
of music: for Ipley wanted to be taught harmony. Harmony was Ipley's
weak point. "Gie 'em," said one jolly ruddy Hillford man, "gie 'em whack
fol, lol!" And he smacked himself, and set toward an invisible partner.
Nor, as recent renowned historians have proved, are observations of
this nature beneath the dignity of chronicle. They vindicate, as they
localize, the sincerity of Hillford.

Really, to be an islander full of ale, is to be the kindest creature on
or off two legs. For that very reason, it may be, his wrath at bad blood
is so easily aroused. In our hot moods we would desire things like unto
ourselves, and object violently to whatsoever is unlike. And also we
desire that the benefits we shed be appreciated. If Ipley understands
neither our music nor our intent, haply we must hold a performance on
the impenetrable sconce of Ipley.

At the hour named, the expedition, with many a promise that the music
should be sweet, departed hilariously: Will Burdock, the left-handed
cricketer and hard-hitter, being leader; with Peter Bartholomew, potboy,
John Girling, miller's man, and Ned Thewk, gardener's assistant,
for lieutenants. On the march, silence was proclaimed, and partially
enforced, after two fights against authority. Near the sign of King
William's Head, General Burdock called a halt, and betrayed irresolution
with reference to the route to be adopted; but as none of his troop
could at all share such a condition of mind in the neighbourhood of an
inn, he was permitted to debate peacefully with his lieutenants, while
the rest burst through the doors and hailed the landlord: a proceeding
he was quickly induced to imitate. Thus, when the tail shows strongest
decision of purpose, the head must follow.

An accurate oinometer, or method of determining what shall be the
condition of the spirit of man according to the degrees of wine or beer
in him, were surely of priceless service to us. For now must we, to
be certain of o