f gold, as thou sayest,
but a talker--something of a talker.'
'She will not weary thee. I have looked to that also. Holy One, my
heart is very heavy for my many carelessnesses towards thee.' An
hysterical catch rose in his throat. 'I have walked thee too far: I
have not picked good food always for thee; I have not considered the
heat; I have talked to people on the road and left thee alone ... I
have--I have ... Hai mai! But I love thee ... and it is all too late
... I was a child ... Oh, why was I not a man? ...' Overborne by
strain, fatigue, and the weight beyond his years, Kim broke down and
sobbed at the lama's feet.
'What a to-do is here!' said the old man gently. 'Thou hast never
stepped a hair's breadth from the Way of Obedience. Neglect me? Child,
I have lived on thy strength as an old tree lives on the lime of a new
wall. Day by day, since Shamlegh down, I have stolen strength from
thee. Therefore, not through any sin of thine, art thou weakened. It
is the Body--the silly, stupid Body--that speaks now. Not the assured
Soul. Be comforted! Know at least the devils that thou fightest.
They are earth-born--children of illusion. We will go to the woman
from Kulu. She shall acquire merit in housing us, and specially in
tending me. Thou shalt run free till strength returns. I had
forgotten the stupid Body. If there be any blame, I bear it. But we
are too close to the Gates of Deliverance to weigh blame. I could
praise thee, but what need? In a little--in a very little--we shall
sit beyond all needs.'
And so he petted and comforted Kim with wise saws and grave texts on
that little-understood beast, our Body, who, being but a delusion,
insists on posing as the Soul, to the darkening of the Way, and the
immense multiplication of unnecessary devils.
'Hai! hai! Let us talk of the woman from Kulu. Think you she will
ask another charm for her grandsons? When I was a young man, a very
long time ago, I was plagued with these vapours--and some others--and I
went to an Abbot--a very holy man and a seeker after truth, though then
I knew it not. Sit up and listen, child of my soul! My tale was told.
Said he to me, "Chela, know this. There are many lies in the world,
and not a few liars, but there are no liars like our bodies, except it
be the sensations of our bodies." Considering this I was comforted,
and of his great favour he suffered me to drink tea In his presence.
Suffer me now t
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