riends here, that ye have offended. In short, Mr Hickery, the
matter is such that, in one word, either you and Mr Plan must quit your
seats at this table of your own free-will, or I must quit mine, and mine
I will not give up without letting the public know the shame on your part
that has compelled me."

He sat down and I sat down; and for some time the other councillors
looked at one another in silence and wonder. Seeing, however, that my
gentle hint was not likely to be taken, I said to the town-clerk, who was
sitting at the bottom of the table,

"Sir, it's your duty to make a minute of everything that is done and said
at the sederunts of the council; and as provost, I hereby require of you
to record the particularities of this melancholy crisis."

Mr Keelevine made an endeavour to dissuade me; but I set him down with a
stern voice, striking the table at the same time with all my birr, as I
said, "Sir, you have no voice here. Do you refuse to perform what I
order? At your peril I command the thing to be done."

Never had such austerity been seen in my conduct before. The whole
council sat in astonishment; and Mr Keelevine prepared his pen, and took
a sheet of paper to draw out a notation of the minute, when Mr Peevie
rose, and after coughing three times, and looking first at me and syne at
the two delinquents, said--

"My Lord Provost, I was surprised, and beginning to be confounded, at the
explosion which the two gentlemen have committed. No man can designate
the extent of such an official malversation, demonstrated, as it has been
here, in the presence of us all, who are the lawful custodiers of the
kingly dignity in this his majesty's royal burgh. I will, therefore, not
take it upon me either to apologise or to obliviate their offence; for,
indeed, it is an offence that merits the most condign animadversion, and
the consequences might be legible for ever, were a gentleman, so
conspicable in the town as you are, to evacuate the magistracy on account
of it. But it is my balsamic advice, that rather than promulgate this
matter, the two malcontents should abdicate, and that a precept should be
placarded at this sederunt as if they were not here, but had resigned and
evaded their places, precursive to the meeting."

To this I answered, that no one could suspect me of wishing to push the
matter further, provided the thing could be otherwise settled; and
therefore, if Mr Plan and Mr Hickery would shake hands,