tion. I had to force myself to look them in the face. I expected to
meet reproachful glances. There were none. The expression of suffering
in their eyes was indeed hard enough to bear. But that they couldn't
help. For the rest, I ask myself whether it was the temper of their
souls or the sympathy of their imagination that made them so wonderful,
so worthy of my undying regard.

For myself, neither my soul was highly tempered, nor my imagination
properly under control. There were moments when I felt, not only that I
would go mad, but that I had gone mad already; so that I dared not open
my lips for fear of betraying myself by some insane shriek. Luckily I
had only orders to give, and an order has a steadying influence upon him
who has to give it. Moreover, the seaman, the officer of the watch, in
me was sufficiently sane. I was like a mad carpenter making a box. Were
he ever so convinced that he was King of Jerusalem, the box he would
make would be a sane box. What I feared was a shrill note escaping me
involuntarily and upsetting my balance. Luckily, again, there was no
necessity to raise one's voice. The brooding stillness of the world
seemed sensitive to the slightest sound, like a whispering gallery. The
conversational tone would almost carry a word from one end of the ship
to the other. The terrible thing was that the only voice that I ever
heard was my own. At night especially it reverberated very lonely
amongst the planes of the unstirring sails.

Mr. Burns, still keeping to his bed with that air of secret
determination, was moved to grumble at many things. Our interviews
were short five-minute affairs, but fairly frequent. I was everlastingly
diving down below to get a light, though I did not consume much tobacco
at that time. The pipe was always going out; for in truth my mind was
not composed enough to enable me to get a decent smoke. Likewise,
for most of the time during the twenty-four hours I could have struck
matches on deck and held them aloft till the flame burnt my fingers. But
I always used to run below. It was a change. It was the only break in
the incessant strain; and, of course, Mr. Burns through the open door
could see me come in and go out every time.

With his knees gathered up under his chin and staring with his greenish
eyes over them, he was a weird figure, and with my knowledge of the
crazy notion in his head, not a very attractive one for me. Still, I had
to speak to him now and then, and