OND MAN: I'm telling you, there was a mistake in the records. I'm
over twenty-six. Two weeks and two days. Already I wrote to my
Congressman. Hell, that's why I voted for him, he better go to bat for
me.

THIRD MAN: You think that's something? I wouldn't be here only those
doctors are crazy. I mean, crazy. Me, with a cyst big as a golf ball
on the base of my spine.

FIRST MAN: You too. Don't try to fight it.

FOURTH MAN: (Newly named Alaric Arkalion III) I look forward to this
as a stimulating adventure. Does the fact that they select men for the
Nowhere Journey once every seven hundred and eighty days strike anyone
as significant?

SECOND MAN: I got my own problems.

ALARIC ARKALION: This is not a thalamic problem, young man. Not
thalamic at all.

THIRD MAN: Young man? Who are you kidding?

ALARIC ARKALION: (Who realizes, thanks to the plastic surgeon, he is
the youngest looking of all, with red cheeks and peach-fuzz whiskers)
It is a problem of the intellect. Why seven hundred and eighty days?

FIRST MAN: I read the magazines, too, chief. You think we're all going
to the planet Mars. How original.

ALARIC ARKALION: As a matter of fact, that is exactly what I think.

SECOND MAN: Mars?

FIRST MAN (Laughing) It's a long way from Mars to City Hall, doc.

SECOND MAN: You mean, through space to Mars?

ALARIC ARKALION: Exactly, exactly. Quite a coincidence, otherwise.

FIRST MAN: You're telling me.

ALARIC ARKALION: (Coldly) Would you care to explain it?

FIRST MAN: Why, sure. You see, Mars is--uh, I don't want to steal your
thunder, chief. Go ahead.

ALARIC ARKALION: Once every seven hundred and eighty days Mars and the
Earth find themselves in the same orbital position with respect to the
sun. In other words, Mars and Earth are closest then. Were there such
a thing as space travel, new, costly, not thoroughly tested, they
would want to make each journey as brief as possible. Hence the seven
hundred and eighty days.

FIRST MAN: Not bad, chief. You got most of it.

THIRD MAN: No one ever said anything about space travel.

FIRST MAN: You think we'd broadcast it or something, stupid? It's part
of a big, important scientific experiment, only we're the hamsters.

ALARIC ARKALION: Ridiculous. You're forgetting all about the Cold War.

FIRST MAN: He thinks we're fighting a war with the Martians. (Laughs)
Orson Wells stuff, huh?

ALARIC ARKALION: With the Russians. The Russians. We developed A
bombs. T