his minute to a large double sirloin
cooked with onions _Desdemona_ style, which is to say, smothered.'

"'Mister,' I says, 'I never thought I'd fall so low as to be a
vegeterrier, but necessity,' I says, 'is the mother of vinegar. Could
you please, sir, spare us a couple of bites out of that there ensilage
of yourn--one large bite for me and one small bite for my young friend
there to keep what little life we have until the coming of the corned
beef and cabbage?'

"'Fellow sufferer,' he says, 'listen here to me. I've got a dear old
white-haired grandmother, which she was seventy-four her last birthday
and has always been a life-long member of the First Baptist Church. I
love my dear old grandmother, but if she was standing right here now and
asked me for a nibble off my mid-day refreshment I'd tell her to go
find a truck patch of her own. Yes sir, I'd turn her down cold; because
if I don't eat enough to keep me alive to get out of here when the times
comes I wont be alive to get out of here when the time comes. Anywhere
else I could love you like a brother,' he says, 'and divide my last bite
with you, but not here,' he says, 'not here! Do you get me?' he says.

"'Sir,' I says, 'I get you. Take care of yourself and don't get
foundered on the green truck,' I says. 'A bran mash now and then and a
wisp of cured timothy hay about once in so long ought to keep off the
grass colic,' I says. 'Come on, little playmate,' I says to Sweet Caps,
'let us meander further into this here vale of plenty of everything
except something to eat. Which, by rights,' I says, 'its real name
oughter be Hungry Hollow.'

"So we meanders some more miles and pretty soon I'm that empty that I
couldn't be no emptier than I am without a surgical operation. My voice
gets weak, and objects dance before my eyes.

"After while they quits dancing, and I realizes that I'm bowing low
before probably the boniest lady that ever lived. A gold watch has got
more extra flesh on it than this lady has on her. She is looking out of
the front window of a small cottage and her expression verges on the
disapproving. As nearly as I can figure out she disapproves of
everything in general, and a large number of things in particular. And
I judges that if there is any two things in the world which she
disapproves of more than any other two things, those two things is me
and the Sweet Caps Kid.

"I removes my lid and starts to speak, but she merely waves her arm in a
m