out delay, and that the potato bearer follows quick upon
the heels of carnifer. Nothing can be more comfortable, and we may no
doubt acknowledge that these first-class grandees do understand their
material comforts. But we of the eight hundred can no more come up to
them in this than we can in their opera-boxes and equipages. May I
not say that the usual tether of this class, in the way of carnifers,
cup-bearers, and the rest, does not reach beyond neat-handed Phyllis
and the greengrocer? and that Phyllis, neat-handed as she probably
is, and the greengrocer, though he be ever so active, cannot
administer a dinner to twelve people who are prohibited by a
Medo-Persian law from all self-administration whatever? And may I not
further say that the lamentable consequence to us eight hundreders
dining out among each other is this, that we too often get no dinner
at all. Phyllis, with the potatoes, cannot reach us till our mutton
is devoured, or in a lukewarm state past our power of managing; and
Ganymede, the greengrocer, though we admire the skill of his necktie
and the whiteness of his unexceptionable gloves, fails to keep us
going in sherry. Seeing a lady the other day in this strait, left
without a small modicum of stimulus which was no doubt necessary for
her good digestion, I ventured to ask her to drink wine with me. But
when I bowed my head at her, she looked at me with all her eyes,
struck with amazement. Had I suggested that she should join me in a
wild Indian war-dance, with nothing on but my paint, her face could
not have shown greater astonishment. And yet I should have thought
she might have remembered the days when Christian men and women used
to drink wine with each other. God be with the good old days when
I could hob-nob with my friend over the table as often as I was
inclined to lift my glass to my lips, and make a long arm for a hot
potato whenever the exigencies of my plate required it.

I think it may be laid down as a rule in affairs of hospitality, that
whatever extra luxury or grandeur we introduce at our tables when
guests are with us, should be introduced for the advantage of the
guest and not for our own. If, for instance, our dinner be served in
a manner different from that usual to us, it should be so served in
order that our friends may with more satisfaction eat our repast than
our everyday practice would produce on them. But the change should
by no means be made to their material detriment in o