You're a cucumber, all right," says I; "but why not, just for a change,
make a stab at gettin' a job?"

"I've had several," says he, "and never could hold one more than a week.
Too monotonous, for one thing; and then, in these offices, one is thrown
among so many ill bred persons, you know."

"Sure!" says I, feelin' my temper'ture risin'. "Parties that had rather
work for a pay envelope than choke their wives. I've met 'em. I've heard
of your kind too, Egbert; but you're the first specimen I ever got real
close to. And you're a bird! Mr. Gordon, shall I chuck him through the
window, or help him downstairs with my toe?"

"I wouldn't do either," says Pyramid. "In fact, I think I can make use of
this young man."

"Then you're welcome to him," says I. "Blaze ahead."

"Much obliged," says Pyramid. "Now, Mr. Marston, what is the most
reasonable sum, per month, that would allow you to carry out your idea of
being a gentleman?"

Egbert thinks that over a minute and then puts it at three hundred.

"And would it conflict with those ideas," Pyramid goes on, "if you were
required, say twice a week, to spend an hour in a private office, signing
your name?"

Egbert thinks he could stand that.

"Very well, then," says Pyramid, producin' his checkbook and gettin' busy
with the fountain pen, "here is your first month's salary in advance.
Whenever you find it convenient during the week, report at my offices.
Ask for Mr. Bradley. Yes, Bradley. That's all," and Pyramid lights up one
of his torches as satisfied as though he'd just bought in a Senator.

As for Egbert, he stows the check away, taps me on the shoulder, and
remarks real friendly, "Well, professor, no hard feelings, I hope?"

"Say, Eggie," says I, "seems to me I expressed myself once on that point,
and I ain't had any sudden change of heart. If I was you I'd beat while
the beatin's good."

Egbert laughs; but he takes the advice.

"Huh!" says I to Pyramid. "I expect that's your notion of making a funny
play, eh!"

"I'm no humorist, Shorty," says he.

"Then what's the idea?" says I. "What do you mean?"

"I never mean anything but cold, straight business," says he. "That's the
only game worth playing."

"So?" says I. "Then here's where you got let in bad with your eyes open.
You heard him tell how useless he was?"

"I did," says Pyramid; "but I always do my own appraising when I hire
men. I anticipate finding Mr. Marston somewhat useful."

And say, that's al