ntures likely seriously to interest the
world at large. I have heard tell, indeed, that he once got a terrible
fright by taking the bounty, during the American war, from an Eirish
corporal, of the name of Dochart O'Flaucherty, at Dalkeith Fair, when he
was at his prenticeship; he, not being accustomed to malt-liquor, having
got fouish and frisky--which was not his natural disposition--over a half
a bottle of porter. From this it will easily be seen, in the first
place, that it would be with a fight that his master would get him off,
by obliging the corporal to take back the trepan money; in the second
place, how long a date back it is since the Eirish began to be the death
of us; and, in conclusion, that my honoured faither got such a fleg, as
to spain him effectually, for the space of ten years, from every
drinkable stronger than good spring-well water. Let the unwary take
caution; and may this be a wholesome lesson to all whom it may concern.

In this family history it becomes me, as an honest man, to make passing
mention of my father's sister, auntie Mysie, that married a carpenter and
undertaker in the town of Jedburgh; and who, in the course of nature and
industry, came to be in a prosperous and thriving way; indeed, so much
so, as to be raised from the rank of a private head of a family; and at
last elected, by a majority of two votes over a famous cow-doctor, a
member of the town-council itself.

There is a good story, howsoever, connected with this business, with
which I shall make myself free to wind up this somewhat fusty and
fushionless chapter.

Well, ye see, some great lord,--I forget his name, but no matter,--that
had made a most tremendous sum of money, either by foul or fair means,
among the blacks in the East Indies, had returned, before he died, to lay
his bones at home, as yellow as a Limerick glove, and as rich as Dives in
the New Testament. He kept flunkies with plush small-clothes and
sky-blue coats with scarlet-velvet cuffs and collars,--lived like a
princie, and settled, as I said before, in the neighbourhood of Jedburgh.

The body, though as brown as a toad's back, was as prideful and full of
power as old King Nebuchadneisher; and how to exhibit all his purple and
fine linen, he aye thought and better thought, till at last the happy
determination came over his mind like a flash of lightning, to invite the
bailies, deacons, and town-council, all in a body, to come and dine with
him.

Sav