use his
tongue, but rubbed his hands, chuckling at the thoughts of what he had
done. I helped him up the side, and assisted him to his cabin.

I believe most of the other captains were also, as he was, three sheets
in the wind, or they probably would not have engaged in the proceeding.

Next morning, soon after daybreak, Nettleship and I were sent ashore by
the first lieutenant to look out for three men who had not come off on
the previous evening, and who, it was supposed, might have deserted.

"Something like looking for a needle in a bundle of hay," said
Nettleship, as we pulled towards the Hard. "The chances are we shall
find them drunk in some house or other, or perhaps in the gutter with
black eyes and broken heads. It's not pleasant work, but it must be
done."

I said nothing about the condition in which the captains had come off
the previous evening, but I thought to myself if captains set such an
example, no wonder if the men follow it in their own fashion.

On landing we found an unusual number of people on the Hard for that
early hour, while parties of soldiers, headed by sergeants, were passing
at the double-quick march. We inquired of one of the men we met what
had happened. He said that on the relief coming to the spot where the
sentry-box had stood, and finding neither box nor sentry, they had been
seized with alarm. The captain of the guard had immediately reported
the circumstance to the fort major, and, forgetting that peace had been
established, he roundly asserted that the French squadron was at
Spithead, that the Isle of Wight had been captured, and that Portsmouth
would be attacked. The whole garrison was aroused, and the telegraphs
on the hills set to work to communicate the intelligence far and wide.
As I was the only person in the boat who knew what had actually
occurred, I thought it prudent to hold my tongue and let things take
their course. Nettleship and I therefore proceeded in search of the
men, and before long found them, much in the condition we had expected,
though sufficiently recovered to walk. Helped along by their shipmates,
we got them down to the boats. The excitement was still at its height,
when, just as we were shoving off, a boat arrived from the Gosport side,
with the astounding intelligence that the missing sentry-box, with the
sentry in it, was standing upright on the beach. Immediately a number
of boats, one of which contained the captain of the guard and se