army since
we had left it.

[6] All our friends at home believed we were executed. My obituary
notice was published in our county paper, and the Rev. Alexander Clark
was invited to preach my funeral sermon, which providential
circumstances alone prevented.

One of the hardest things we had to endure was the rejoicing that
accompanied McClellan's flight from Richmond. Before this occurrence,
the secessionists were down-spirited and despairing; but afterward
they were jubilant. About the last of May, a prominent officer said to
me: "Any other officer of yours but McClellan, would now take
Richmond, for we have not men enough at present to offer successful
resistance; but _he_ will fortify each step of his way, and lay grand
plans, and thus delay until we can raise men enough by the conscript
law to defeat him." I did not then think that his prediction would be
verified, and hoped that McClellan would show that he was not delaying
for nothing; but when I heard of the precipitate retreat to Harrison's
Landing, I was ready to confess that the Confederate officer had been
more penetrating in his views than myself. From this moment, the tide
of victory seemed to set to the southward side, with a still deeper
and stronger flow, till the next spring, when it returned again.

I can preserve no order of time in relating the events of these
tedious mouths, which slowly rolled away their ponderous length. It
was almost a perfect isolation from the world, with little hope of
ever again mingling in its busy throng. As each month closed, we were
startled by the thought we were still alive--that the bolt had not yet
descended--and we surmised and wondered how much longer it could be
delayed. At last a small ray of hope began to arise--very feeble at
first--based on the long and incomprehensible reprieve we were
enjoying. As week after week glided tediously away, marked only by the
monotony which is more wearying to heart and frame than the most
severe anguish, this hope grew stronger; yet still so little assured
that the most trifling circumstance, such as strengthening the guard,
or a visit from the officers, was sufficient to blast the hopes we
were beginning so fondly to cherish.

I saw many instances of the iron rule with which the Southern Union
men are kept in subjection. The strictest espionage was maintained
through every order of society. The spies of the government would
pretend to be Union men, and thus worm themselves