ell Yew
what 'tis, ma'arm. I la'af. Theer! I la'af. I Dew. I oughter ha'
seen most things, for I hail from the Onlimited side of the Atlantic
Ocean, and I haive travelled right slick over the Limited, head on
through Jeerusalemm and the East, and likeways France and Italy, Europe
Old World, and am now upon the track to the Chief Europian Village; but
such an Institution as Yew, and Yewer young ladies, and Yewer fixin's
solid and liquid, afore the glorious Tarnal I never did see yet! And if
I hain't found the eighth wonder of monarchical Creation, in finding Yew
and Yewer young ladies, and Yewer fixin's solid and liquid, all as
aforesaid, established in a country where the people air not absolute Loo-
naticks, I am Extra Double Darned with a Nip and Frizzle to the
innermostest grit! Wheerfur--Theer!--I la'af! I Dew, ma'arm. I la'af!"
And so he went, stamping and shaking his sides, along the platform all
the way to his own compartment.

I think it was her standing up agin the Foreigner as giv' Our Missis the
idea of going over to France, and droring a comparison betwixt
Refreshmenting as followed among the frog-eaters, and Refreshmenting as
triumphant in the Isle of the Brave and Land of the Free (by which, of
course, I mean to say agin, Britannia). Our young ladies, Miss Whiff,
Miss Piff, and Mrs. Sniff, was unanimous opposed to her going; for, as
they says to Our Missis one and all, it is well beknown to the hends of
the herth as no other nation except Britain has a idea of anythink, but
above all of business. Why then should you tire yourself to prove what
is already proved? Our Missis, however (being a teazer at all pints)
stood out grim obstinate, and got a return pass by Southeastern Tidal, to
go right through, if such should be her dispositions, to Marseilles.

Sniff is husband to Mrs. Sniff, and is a regular insignificant cove. He
looks arter the sawdust department in a back room, and is sometimes, when
we are very hard put to it, let behind the counter with a corkscrew; but
never when it can be helped, his demeanour towards the public being
disgusting servile. How Mrs. Sniff ever come so far to lower herself as
to marry him, I don't know; but I suppose he does, and I should think he
wished he didn't, for he leads a awful life. Mrs. Sniff couldn't be much
harder with him if he was public. Similarly, Miss Whiff and Miss Piff,
taking the tone of Mrs. Sniff, they shoulder Sniff about when he _is_ let