eful purposes.

HINT 4.--If, however, a young member should be seized with, the desire
of speaking in Parliament, he may do so without the slighest regard to
sense, as the reporters in the gallery are paid for the purpose of
making speeches for honourable members; and on the following morning he
may calculate on seeing, in the columns of the daily papers, a full
report of his splendid

[Illustration: MAIDEN SPEECH.]

HINT 5.--A knowledge of the exact time to cry "Hear, hear!" is
absolutely necessary. A severe cough, when a member of the opposite
side of the house is speaking, is greatly to be commended; cock-crowing
is also a desirable qualification for a young legislator, and, if
judiciously practised, cannot fail to bring the possessor into the
notice of his party.

HINT 6.--The back seats in the gallery are considered, by several
members, as the most comfortable for taking a nap on.

HINT 7.--If one honourable member wishes to tell another honourable
member that he is anything but a gentleman, he should be particular to
do so within the walls of the house--as, in that case, the Speaker will
put him under arrest, to prevent any unpleasant consequences arising
from his hasty expressions.

HINT 8.--If a member promise to give his vote to the minister, he must
in honour do so--unless he happen to fall asleep in the smoking-room,
and so gets shut out from the division of the house.

HINT 9.--No independent member need trouble himself to understand the
merits of any question before the house. He may, therefore, amuse
himself at Bellamy's until five minutes before the Speaker's bell rings
for a division.

* * * * *

RATHER SUICIDAL.

"The health of the Earl of Winchilsea and the Conservative members of
the House of Peers," was followed, amid intense cheering, with the glee
of

"Swearing death to traitor slaves!"--_Times_.

* * * * *

NOVEL EXPERIMENT.--GREAT SCREW.

Several scientific engineers have formed themselves into a company, and
are about applying for an Act of Parliament to enable them to take a
lease of Joe Hume, for the purpose of opposing the Archimedean Screw.
Public feeling is already in favour of the "Humedean," and the "Joe"
shares are rising rapidly.

* * * * *

PUNCH'S INFORMATION FOR THE PEOPLE.--NO. 3.

One of the expedients adopted by the cheap-knowledge-mongers to convey
so-calle