tered
and flattered me. Could it be that he was hoping that I, like a
flunkey, would gossip in other kitchens and servants' quarters of
his coming to see us in the evenings when Orlov was away, and staying
with Zinaida Fyodorovna till late at night? And when my tittle-tattle
came to the ears of his acquaintance, he would drop his eyes in
confusion and shake his little finger. And would not he, I thought,
looking at his little honeyed face, this very evening at cards
pretend and perhaps declare that he had already won Zinaida Fyodorovna
from Orlov?

That hatred which failed me at midday when the old father had come,
took possession of me now. Kukushkin went away at last, and as I
listened to the shuffle of his leather goloshes, I felt greatly
tempted to fling after him, as a parting shot, some coarse word of
abuse, but I restrained myself. And when the steps had died away
on the stairs, I went back to the hall, and, hardly conscious of
what I was doing, took up the roll of papers that Gruzin had left
behind, and ran headlong downstairs. Without cap or overcoat, I ran
down into the street. It was not cold, but big flakes of snow were
falling and it was windy.

"Your Excellency!" I cried, catching up Kukushkin. "Your Excellency!"

He stopped under a lamp-post and looked round with surprise. "Your
Excellency!" I said breathless, "your Excellency!"

And not able to think of anything to say, I hit him two or three
times on the face with the roll of paper. Completely at a loss, and
hardly wondering--I had so completely taken him by surprise--he
leaned his back against the lamp-post and put up his hands to protect
his face. At that moment an army doctor passed, and saw how I was
beating the man, but he merely looked at us in astonishment and
went on. I felt ashamed and I ran back to the house.

XII

With my head wet from the snow, and gasping for breath, I ran to
my room, and immediately flung off my swallow-tails, put on a reefer
jacket and an overcoat, and carried my portmanteau out into the
passage; I must get away! But before going I hurriedly sat down and
began writing to Orlov:

"I leave you my false passport," I began. "I beg you to keep it as
a memento, you false man, you Petersburg official!

"To steal into another man's house under a false name, to watch
under the mask of a flunkey this person's intimate life, to hear
everything, to see everything in order later on, unasked, to accuse
a man of lying--all t