_Bartley Fallon:_ _(Taking off crate.)_ He went very near to tear
us all asunder. I declare I amn't worth a match.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ He made a reel in my head, till I don't know am
I right myself.

_Shawn Early:_ Bawling his life out, tearing his clothes, tearing
and eating them. Look at his top-coat he left after him.

_Bartley Fallon:_ He poured all over with pure white foam.

_Peter Tannian:_ There now is an end of your elegant man.

_Shawn Early:_ Bit he was with the mad dog that went tearing, and
lads chasing him a while ago.

_Miss Joyce:_ Sure that was Tannian's own dog, that had a bit of
meat snapped from Quirke's ass-car. He is without this door now.
_(All look out.)_ He has the appearance of having a full meal taken.

_Bartley Fallon:_ And they to be saying I went mad. That is the
way always, and a thing to be tasked to me that was not in it at all.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ _(Laying her hand on Miss Joyce's shoulder.)_
Take comfort now; and if it was the moon done all, and has your
bachelor swept, let you not begrudge it its full share of praise for
the hand it had in banishing a strange bird, might have gone wild
and bawling like eleven, and you after being wed with him, and would
maybe have put a match to the roof. And hadn't you the luck of the
world now, that you did not give notice to the priest!

_Curtain_

COATS

_Hazel_ EDITOR OF "CHAMPION"
_Mineog_ EDITOR OF "TRIBUNE"
_John_ A WAITER

_Scene: Dining room of Royal Hotel Cloonmore_.

_Hazel: (Coming in.)_ Did Mr. Mineog come yet, John?

_John:_ He did not, Mr. Hazel. Ah, he won't be long coming. It's
seldom he does be late.

_Hazel:_ Is the dinner ready?

_John:_ It is, sir. Boiled beef and parsnips, the same as every
Monday for all comers, and an apple pie for yourself and Mr. Mineog.

_Mineog: (Coming in.)_ Mr. Hazel is the first tonight. I'm glad to
see you looking so good.

_(They take off coats and give to waiter.)_

_Mineog:_ Put that on its own peg.

_Hazel:_ And mine on its own peg to the rear.

_John:_ I will, sir.

_(He drops coats in putting them up. Then notices broken pane
in window and picks up the coats hurriedly, putting them on wrong
pegs. Hazel and Mineog have sat down.)_

_Hazel:_ Have you any strange news?

_Mineog:_ I have but the same news I always have, that it is quick
Monday comes around, and that it is hard make provision for to fill
up the four sheets of the _