* * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

"In reply to your letter to hand, we are very sorry for the delay in
sending the Jumper, but the tremendous demand for these has denuded
our stock. We are, however, expecting a further delay now in a day
or so.

Yours obediently,

BROTHERS, LTD."

* * * * *

"The spell of hot weather is causing large numbers of the public
to migrate to the Kent coast. Thanet, owing to greatly improved
travelling facilities, is being specially flavoured. The public well
know the magical properties of Thanet air."--_Evening Paper_.

Then why bother about flavouring it?

* * * * *

"The Food Controller announced that canned salmon is now free of
control, and that chocolates and other sweetmeats will be freed on
July 1.

He also intimates that canned salmon is now free of control,
and that chocolates and other sweetmeats will be freed on July
1."--_Daily Paper_.

We hope he will say it once more, on the Bellman's principle that "what
I tell you three times is true."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Chorus of children (to parent, late Lieut-Col. R.F.A.,
D.S.O., M.C. and Bar_). "DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, DADDY; SHE'LL ONLY PECK
YOUR LEGS."]

* * * * *

HINTS ON SELECTING AN AEROPLANE.

As all the world will soon be in the air a few words of advice on
choosing an aerial steed may be of assistance to intending fliers who
have so far had no experience as owners of winged craft.

The first thing is to locate the whereabouts of the best park, for one
speaks of a park of aeroplanes just as one speaks of a school of whales,
a grove of wombats or a suite of leeches. Having arrived (wearing, if
you are wise, a full-grown check cap, with the back to the front and the
peak protecting the nape of the neck from the bites of savage vendors),
take a deep breath and look round you knowingly.

By the way, what are you--peer, profiteer, or plain _pater-familias_
looking for a family air-bus? It is impossible to advise you how to
select a plane without knowing whether you want one for long-distance
journeys (with non-starting attachment), for stunting, or merely for
gadding about and dropping in on your friends. There is a sad story
afloat of a man who bought an air-bus the other day for world-touring
and only discov