iously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie
for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably,
humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully
and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly,
squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous
mien, as being ashamed of our high calling. Then shall we be rid of
the rank and pestilent truth that is rotting the land; then shall we be
great and good and beautiful, and worthy dwellers in a world where
even benign Nature habitually lies, except when she promises execrable
weather. Then--but I am but a new and feeble student in this gracious
art; I can not instruct this Club.

Joking aside, I think there is much need of wise examination into what
sorts of lies are best and wholesomest to be indulged, seeing we must
all lie and do all lie, and what sorts it may be best to avoid--and this
is a thing which I feel I can confidently put into the hands of this
experienced Club--a ripe body, who may be termed, in this regard, and
without undue flattery, Old Masters.

ABOUT MAGNANIMOUS-INCIDENT LITERATURE

All my life, from boyhood up, I have had the habit of reading a certain
set of anecdotes, written in the quaint vein of The World's ingenious
Fabulist, for the lesson they taught me and the pleasure they gave me.
They lay always convenient to my hand, and whenever I thought meanly of
my kind I turned to them, and they banished that sentiment; whenever
I felt myself to be selfish, sordid, and ignoble I turned to them, and
they told me what to do to win back my self-respect. Many times I wished
that the charming anecdotes had not stopped with their happy climaxes,
but had continued the pleasing history of the several benefactors and
beneficiaries. This wish rose in my breast so persistently that at last
I determined to satisfy it by seeking out the sequels of those anecdotes
myself. So I set about it, and after great labor and tedious research
accomplished my task. I will lay the result before you, giving you each
anecdote in its turn, and following it with its sequel as I gathered it
through my investigations.

THE GRATEFUL POODLE

One day a benevolent physician (who had read the books) having found a
stray poodle suffering from a broken leg, conveyed the poor creature
to his home, and after setting and bandaging the injured limb gave the
little outcast