an atmosphere with her that the
invalid gains from her very presence.

Overwhelming kindness is not only tiresome and often annoying, but a
serious drag on one who is ill.

People who are so busy doing kindnesses seldom consult the invalid's
preferences at all. They are too full of their own selfish kindliness
and self-importance.

I remember a woman who was suffering intensely from neuralgia in her
face. A friend, proud of the idea of caring for her and giving up her
own pleasure to stay in the darkened room and keep the sufferer's face
bathed in hot water, made such a rustling back and forth with her
skirts in getting the water that the strain of the constant noise and
movement not only counteracted any relief that might have come from the
heat, but it increased the pain and made the nervous condition of the
patient much worse.

So it is with a hundred and one little "kindnesses" that people try to
do for others when they are ill.

They talk to amuse them when the invalids would give all in their power
to have a little quiet.

They sit like lumps and say nothing when a little light, easy chatting
might divert the invalid's attention and so start up a gentle
circulation which would tend directly toward health.

Or, they talk and are entertaining for a while in a very helpful way,
but not knowing when to stop, finally make the patient so tired that
they undo all the good of the first fifteen minutes.

They flood the room with light, "to make it look pleasant," when the
invalid longs for the rest of a darkened room; or they draw the shades
when the patient longs for the cheerfulness of sunlight.

They fuss and move about to do this or that and the other "kindness"
when the sick person longs for absolute quiet.

They shower attentions when the first thing that is desired is to be
let alone. One secret of the whole trouble in this oppressive care of
the sick is that this sort of caretaker is interested more to please
herself and feel the satisfaction of her own benefactions than she is
to really please the friend for whom she is caring. Another trouble is
common ignorance. Some women would gladly sacrifice anything to help a
friend to get well; they would give their time and their strength
gladly and count it as nothing, but they do not know how to care for
the sick. Often such people are sadly discouraged because they see that
they are only bringing discomfort where, with all their hearts, they
desire to bri