w. For her he was still the unconquered, in spite of his loyal
endeavour to seem conquered. He had made a fatal mistake, that evening
after the concert at Queen's Hall, to let himself go, on a mixed tide of
desire and pity!

His folly came to him with increased poignancy after he had parted from
Noel. How could he have been such a base fool, as to have committed
himself to Leila on an evening when he had actually been in the company
of that child? Was it the vague, unseizable likeness between them
which had pushed him over the edge? 'I've been an ass,' he thought; 'a
horrible ass.' I would always have given every hour I've ever spent with
Leila, for one real smile from that girl.'

This sudden sight of Noel after months during which he had tried loyally
to forget her existence, and not succeeded at all, made him realise as
he never had yet that he was in love with her; so very much in love
with her that the thought of Leila was become nauseating. And yet the
instincts of a gentleman seemed to forbid him to betray that secret to
either of them. It was an accursed coil! He hailed a cab, for he was
late; and all the way back to the War Office he continued to see the
girl's figure and her face with its short hair. And a fearful temptation
rose within him. Was it not she who was now the real object for chivalry
and pity? Had he not the right to consecrate himself to championship of
one in such a deplorable position? Leila had lived her life; but this
child's life--pretty well wrecked--was all before her. And then he
grinned from sheer disgust. For he knew that this was Jesuitry. Not
chivalry was moving him, but love! Love! Love of the unattainable! And
with a heavy heart, indeed, he entered the great building, where, in a
small room, companioned by the telephone, and surrounded by sheets of
paper covered with figures, he passed his days. The war made everything
seem dreary, hopeless. No wonder he had caught at any distraction which
came along--caught at it, till it had caught him!

IV

1

To find out the worst is, for human nature, only a question of time.
But where the "worst" is attached to a family haloed, as it were, by the
authority and reputation of an institution like the Church, the
process of discovery has to break through many a little hedge.
Sheer unlikelihood, genuine respect, the defensive instinct in those
identified with an institution, who will themselves feel weaker if its
strength be diminished,