had made good his retreat. I then wanted to go after
a policeman, but my wife remonstrated, as this would leave the house
exposed. Remembering the gentlemanly conduct of the burglar, I suggested
the plan of following him and requesting him to give the alarm as he
went in town. But this proposition was received with equal disfavor. The
next day I procured a dog and a revolver. The former went off, but the
latter wouldn't. I then got a new dog and chained him, and a duelling
pistol, with a hair-trigger. The result was so far satisfactory that
neither could be approached with safety, and for some time I left them
out, indifferently, during the night. But the chain one day gave way,
and the dog, evidently having no other attachment to the house, took
the opportunity to leave. His place was soon filled by the Newfoundland,
whose fidelity and sagacity I have just recorded.

Space is one of the desirable features of my suburban residence. I
do not know the number of acres the grounds contain except from the
inordinate quantity of hose required for irrigating. I perform daily,
like some gentle shepherd, upon a quarter-inch pipe without any visible
result, and have had serious thoughts of contracting with some disbanded
fire company for their hose and equipments. It is quite a walk to the
wood-house. Every day some new feature of the grounds is discovered.
My youngest boy was one day missing for several hours. His head--a
peculiarly venerable and striking object--was at last discovered just
above the grass at some distance from the house. On examination he was
found comfortably seated in a disused drain, in company with a silver
spoon and a dead rat. On being removed from this locality he howled
dismally and refused to be comforted.

The view from my suburban residence is fine. Lone Mountain, with its
white obelisks, is a suggestive if not cheering termination of the vista
in one direction, while the old receiving vault of Yerba Buena Cemetery
limits the view in another. Most of the funerals which take place pass
my house. My children, with the charming imitativeness that belongs to
youth, have caught the spirit of these passing corteges, and reproduce
in the back yard, with creditable skill, the salient features of
the lugubrious procession. A doll, from whose features all traces of
vitality and expression have been removed, represents the deceased.
Yet unfortunately I have been obliged to promise them more active
participatio