Onst there was a ogre that lived in a
castle, and the castle was on the top of a big, big hill--such a awfully
big hill that nobody could ever get up it--not the biggest person that
ever was made couldn't get up it."

"How did the ogre get up it then?" said Hoodie.

"He didn't. He'd always been there and he had a' ogre's wife to cook his
dinner, and he had a--a--oh yes, I know, he had a awful big
billiard-table, and he used to use little boys' heads for the balls,"
continued Duke, his eyes wandering round the room for inspiration as he
proceeded. "And," he went on, as he caught sight of a large mirror at
the end of the room, "he was so big he couldn't get any plates big
enough for him to eat off, so he used to have big looking-glasses for
plates, and--and--he had a coal-box for a salt-cellar, and when he had
a' egg for breakfast he had the shovel for a' egg spoon, and--and--the
white muslin curtains was his pocket-hankerwitches, and----" here Duke
came to a dead stop, but another gaze round the room provided fresh
material, "and," he proceeded energetically, "the Venetian blind sticks
was his matches, and his ogre's wife used to wash his hankerwitches in a
lake, and that was his basin; and for soup she used a--oh I don't know
what she had for soup--never mind that. But she had beautiful big
earrings," his eyes at this moment happening to catch sight of
Magdalen's side-face, "beautiful big earrings made of two shiny glass
and goldy things for candles, like that one hanging up there, and----"

"You're just making a rubbish story, Duke," said Maudie. "You just put
in whatever you see. I don't call that a proper story at all. Is it,
Cousin Magdalen?"

"You're very unkind, Maudie," said Duke, dolefully, before Magdalen had
time to reply. "It isn't a rubbish story. I was just going to tell you
about one day when the ogre was very hungry----"

"Well, what did he do?"

"Well," repeated Duke, somewhat mollified, "one day when the ogre was
very hungry, he couldn't find nothing to eat, and he said to his wife,
'Ogre's wife, I'll eat _you_, if you don't get me somefin to eat
too-dreckly.' And his ogre's wife cried, and she said she'd go to the
green-baker's and see if she couldn't get somefin for he to eat."

"Go to the _where_, Duke?" said Magdalen, looking up from her work.

"To the green-baker's, that's where they sell apples and pears and
p'ums," said Duke.

Maudie burst out laughing.

"He means the green-_grocer's_