s & no dish for a gentleman. Then
he dipt his fist into the middle of the great custard that stood before
his left-hand neighbour, & daubed his hungry beard all over with it, till
you would have taken him for the Last Day in December it so hung in
icicles.

At another part of the table, Shrove Tuesday was helping the Second of
September to some cock broth,--which courtesy the latter returned with
the delicate thigh of a hen pheasant--so there was no love lost for that
matter.

The Last of Lent was spunging upon Shrovetide's pancakes; which April
Fool perceiving, told him he did well, for pancakes were proper to a good
fry-day.

In another part a hubbub arose about the Thirtieth of January, who, it
seems, being a sour puritanic character, that thought nobody's meat good
or sanctified enough for him, had smuggled into the room a calf's head,
which he had had cooked at home for that purpose, thinking to feast
thereon incontinently; but as it lay in the dish March Many-weathers,
who is a very fine lady, and subject to the meagrims, screamed out there
was a "human head in the platter," and raved about Herodias' daughter to
that degree, that the obnoxious viand was obliged to be removed; nor did
she recover her stomach till she had gulped down a Restorative, confected
of Oak Apple, which the merry Twenty-Ninth of May always carries about
with him for that purpose.

The King's health being called for after this, a notable dispute arose
between the 12th of August (a zealous old Whig gentlewoman), and the
Twenty Third of April (a new-fangled lady of the Tory stamp) as to which
of them should have the honour to propose it.

August grew hot upon the matter, affirming time out of mind the
prescriptive right to have lain with her, till her rival basely supplanted
her;

* * *

April Fool being made mediator, confirmed the right in the
strongest form of words to the appellant, but decided for peace'
sake that the exercise of it should remain with the present
possessor.

* * *

It beginning to grow a little duskish, Candlemas lustily bawled out for
lights which was opposed by all the Days, who protested against burning
daylight. Then fair water was handed round in silver ewers, and the same
lady was observed to take an unusual time in washing herself.

May-Day, with that sweetness which is peculiar to her, in a neat speech
proposing the health of th