in the Spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the
things should befall me there, save that the Holy Ghost witnesseth,
saying that bonds and afflictions abide me. But none of these things
move me; neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might
finish my course with joy." (Acts 20:22, 23, 24.) I could not forbear
to testify it to my most intimate friends, who tried hard to prevail on
me to stop, and not to proceed. They were all willing to contribute a
share of what they had, for my settlement there, and to prevent my
coming to Paris. But I found it my duty to hold on my way, and to
sacrifice myself for Him who first sacrificed Himself for me.

At Chamberry we saw Father La Mothe, who was going to the election of a
Father-general. Though he affected an appearance of friendship, it was
not difficult to discover that his thoughts were different from his
words, and that he conceived dark designs against us. I speak not of
his intentions, but to obey the command given me to omit nothing. I
shall necessarily be obliged often to speak of him. I could wish with
all my heart it were in my power to suppress what I have to say of him.
If what he has done respected only myself, I would willingly bury all;
but I think I owe it to the truth, and to the innocence of Father La
Combe, so cruelly oppressed, and grievously crushed so long, by wicked
calumnies, by an imprisonment of several years, which in all
probability will last as long as life. Though Father La Mothe may
appear heavily charged in what I say of him, I protest solemnly, and in
the presence of God, that I pass over in silence many of his bad
actions.

CHAPTER 19

Scarcely had I arrived at Paris, when I readily discovered the black
designs entertained against both Father La Combe and me. Father La
Mothe who conducted the whole tragedy, artfully dissembled, according
to his custom; flattering me to my face, while he was aiming the
keenest wounds behind my back. He and his confederates wanted, for
their own interest, to persuade me to go to Montargis (my native
place), hoping, thereby, to get the guardianship of my children, and to
dispose of both my person and effects. All the persecutions from Father
La Mothe and my family have been attended on their part with views of
interest; those against Father La Combe have sprung from rage and
revenge, because he, as my director, did not oblige me to do what they
wanted; as well as out of jealousy. I might enter int