FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182  
183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   >>   >|  
, the lucky laymen." So, as the facts, grossly exaggerated, got noised abroad, they came to call us the "Lucky Laymen." Looking back, there will always seem to me something weird and incomprehensible in those twilight days, an unreality, a vagueness like some dreary, feverish dream. For three months I did not see my face in a mirror. Not that I wanted to, but I mention this just to show how little we thought of ourselves. In like manner, never did I have a moment's time to regard my inner self in the mirror of consciousness. No mental analysis now; no long hours of retrospection, no tete-a-tete interviews with my soul. At times I felt as if I had lost my identity. I was a slave of the genie Gold, releasing it from its prison in the frozen bowels of the earth. I was an automaton turning a crank in the frozen stillness of the long, long night. It was a life despotically objective, and now, as I look back, it seems as if I had never lived it at all. I seem to look down a long, dark funnel and see a little machine-man bearing my semblance, patiently, steadily, wearily turning the handle of a windlass in the clear, lancinating cold of those sombre, silent days. I say "bearing my outward semblance," and yet I sometimes wonder if that rough-bearded figure in heavy woollen clothes looked the least like me. I wore heavy sweaters, mackinaw trousers, thick German socks and moccasins. From frequent freezing my cheeks were corroded. I was miserably thin, and my eyes had a wild, staring expression through the pupils dilating in the long darkness. Yes, mentally and physically I was no more like myself than a convict enduring out his life in the soulless routine of a prison. The days were lengthening marvellously. We noted the fact with dull joy. It meant more light, more time, more dirt in the dump. So it came about that, from ten hours of toil, we went to twelve, to fourteen; then, latterly, to sixteen, and the tension of it was wearing us down to skin and bone. We were all feeling wretched, overstrained, ill-nourished, and it was only voicing the general sentiment when, one day, the Prodigal remarked: "I guess I'll have to let up for a couple of days. My teeth are all on the bum. I'm going to town to see a dentist." "Let me look at them," said the Halfbreed. He looked. The gums were sullen, unwholesome-looking. "Why, it's a touch of scurvy, lad; a little while, and you'd be spitting out your teeth like orang
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182  
183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
bearing
 
mirror
 
frozen
 

prison

 
turning
 

semblance

 
looked
 
miserably
 

freezing

 

frequent


cheeks

 
corroded
 

moccasins

 

soulless

 

routine

 
physically
 

mentally

 

enduring

 

convict

 

darkness


expression

 

staring

 

marvellously

 

lengthening

 

dilating

 

pupils

 

feeling

 

dentist

 
Halfbreed
 
sullen

spitting

 
unwholesome
 

scurvy

 

couple

 

wearing

 

German

 

overstrained

 

wretched

 

tension

 

sixteen


twelve

 
fourteen
 

nourished

 

remarked

 

Prodigal

 
voicing
 
general
 

sentiment

 

patiently

 
mention